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re: Do any parents out there wish they didn't have kids?

Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:44 am to
Posted by Pecker
Rocky Top
Member since May 2015
16674 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:44 am to
quote:

There is absolutely no reason to get married if you don't want kids. And if the two of you both feel that way, you probably don't have much to offer kids anyway. Kids need to thrive, not have lazy, un-nurturing,materialistic, self-absorbed parents. The world already has enough "adults" suffering from failure-to-launch syndrome.. Leave the heavy lifting of marriage and parenthood to those of us who can handle it and get on with being an eternal adolescent.


This doesn't seem like a very mature response. It seems to lack in understanding, which one would think is a good trait to possess as a parent.

You think marriage is only necessary for the sake of children? You didn't marry your wife because you loved her any wanted to be with her for the rest of your lives, only because you thought she could one day be the mother of your kids? Did you say that in your vows?
This post was edited on 1/4/17 at 9:45 am
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
84284 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:48 am to
quote:

You think marriage is only necessary for the sake of children?


unless your religious, yes IMO

Me and my wife would not have got married if we didn't want children
Posted by DrewDawg13
Athens
Member since Apr 2015
3644 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 9:56 am to
Don't worry about some of the people on here. We have been married almost 5 years, and are approaching being 30. People tel us all the time that our minds will change, and one magic day we will wake up and want kids. But after nearly 5 years of marriage, 8 years of being together, and over 10 years of knowing each other, it only makes us more sure we don't want kids.

Of course people will say that we are bad people, or why even get married, but I laugh at these people. Most people are now under the impression that they should be a mommy or daddy first, which to me is so wrong. Without your spouse there wouldn't be any kids. To say having kids is the only reason to get married is insane to me.

Saintbrees is one of the only honest people in this thread. Kids are hard work. Being around them all the time for work makes you realize that. Seeing your friends and families kids makes you realize that. We are like y'all, and we love to travel and love our careers. If you don't want them, don't have them. Contrary to popular believe, you can be perfectly happy without kids.
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
81306 posts
Posted on 1/4/17 at 10:06 am to
There is zero reason to marry if family is not your intention.If you both don't want kids there is almost no chance a marriage lasts over time. Just the fact that you are so self-focused and need to be the center of the Universe to such a point that you think kids would be a drag on your travel plans, indicates that your marriage has little chance to last the test of time. Because marriage is far more difficult than parenthood. Your love for a child never wanes. If you can't handle the thought of kids, you sure as hell can't handle being married twenty years down the road. Marriage is work. Kids are gravy.

And let me explain the essential gift that kids give you that you clearly don't understand. They take you from a self-absorbed boy who is used to receiving praise and gratification and being the center of things, to being in a much more gratifying and rewarding place. Kids allow you to remove yourself from the center of your Universe and to put them there in your place. You go from being selfish to selfless almost overnight.You provide, you nurture, you give, you sacrifice. Pretty soon you see where there was selfishness, there is now virtue that you did not previously know existed. And the humility you learn through that, combined with this "highest love" you feel for your children is the gift they give you. If you deprive yourself of loving fatherhood, you miss THE essential experience of being alive.

My wife and I were together for four years before we were married. We were married for another four years before we started our family. During those years we lived abroad,moved to the mountains, went to Tahiti, Asia and Europe, climbed 14er's-did all those kind of things. Then one day we said "is this it?". You will see how it works. It's a natural progression in maturity and personal morality. You will change and need more. Book mark the thread and get back to me five years after you are married.
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