quote:
The real issue might be that you want to do ERE, save 80% of income, and she doesn't. Maybe she values taking an occasional weekend trip over retiring sooner. That's not something that can be solved with a budget.

She is totally on board with the early retirement thing. She just isn't good at denying her self stuff. She never has been.

quote:
You say prioritize, and she is: she's spending money to enjoy being with people....not buying stuff. Sounds good to me. By your own admission, you've been OOT for four of her five trips...is she supposed to sit at home and darn your socks while you're gone? I'm assuming that not all of your trips were work related, as you mention one costing you $100.

Plus, If retirement is just around the corner and she still has living parents to visit, she's lucky as hell. I say go see em. And if you want her to make travel plans with you, you need to have a free weekend yourself.

Consider your own discretionary spending...boat, golf, expensive hobby? You may be spending on "stuff" while she spends on experiences.

Right, and all I want to do is to make this a conscious choice.

We are going to retire early (46) in 5 years (if everything goes right). Today, if we go over by a few hundred or thousand dollars, its not a big thing. We can just save less, or skimp in other areas, delay purchases, etc. Once we retire, we will have less flexibility. I would prefer to get her in the practice of making those choices a conscious effort now vs. doing so in retirement. It will also help us realistically budget for retirement. Maybe we have to work an extra year or two, so she can do more weekend trips with her friends. I dunno but I want to start this now, not when we retire.

eta: For one of the trips, I was out of town for work. For one, I did a guys weekend. For one, she skipped a "required" family function to go hang out with friends. I managed to get work to pay for it. And then for one, I extended a work trip to stay with friends.

This post was edited on 7/27/15 at 7:05 pm

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Posted by hungryone

river parishes

Member since Sep 2010

11987 posts

Posted on 7/27/15 at 7:16 pm to Hawkeye95

The bigger question for me would be this: why stop working so young if you're gonna have to live without the things you enjoy most? (Such as travel.). I'd rather keep working part time to afford more travel. Have you discussed how you plan to spend your time during what might easily be FOUR decades of retirement? That's a helluva lotta staying home....and togetherness. She might prefer working full time into her late 50s or beyond, and traveling 2-3 weekends a month, with or without you.

Or, if she doesn't presently work, she might consider getting a job to fund the activities you deem as budget irresponsibility. I know a fair number of society ladies whose husbands early retirement drove them into late real estate careers, high end boutique sales, etc.

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Posted by GoldenD

Houston

Member since Jan 2015

938 posts

Posted on 7/27/15 at 7:29 pm to Hawkeye95

If I remember correctly from previous post, your combined income is >200k or so right? If she spends $5k on trips this year, but spends little in other areas such as shopping, I'd saying she's being perfectly reasonable. Her spending 2-3% of discretionary income is nothing you should even bat an eye at.

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