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Started By
Message
How did you grieve when you lost your parent(s)?
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:43 pm
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:43 pm
About 7 years ago I received a phone call at work from my mother informing that my father had unexpectedly died in his sleep the night before.
The news truly hit me like a thief-in-the-night.
I was stunned for what seemed like forever but in reality it was perhaps a second. Time came to a halt. And then when I processed what she has just told me, I was inconsolable for about 15 minutes while sitting alone in my car. I couldn't even speak words. Every moment shared with my father flashed thru my mind. Regrets flooded my heart. I wished I would've called him more often. The finality of the news was too much to process.
My boss insisted that I go home but I insisted on staying at work. The last thing I wanted to do was go home and sit in silence with only my thoughts to keep me company. I'd rather be distracted by work than spend the next 7 hours contemplating my father's untimely death.
That was the best decision I made. Work allowed me to come back to Earth forcing me to focus on things unrelated to the tragic news while at the same time working thru the grief in my own way.
I made peace with myself and my father that day. It was a struggle, but it was something that I had to do. I made a commitment to move on as quickly as possible. I knew in my heart that the last thing my father would've wanted is his children unable to move on from his death.
I chose to immediately move on and leave my father in the past, which at this point enables me to freely discuss his death without emotional distress.
My advice to people when faced with the death of a loved one: Attempt to make peace and move on as soon as possible regardless of how monumental that task seems at that time.
The news truly hit me like a thief-in-the-night.
I was stunned for what seemed like forever but in reality it was perhaps a second. Time came to a halt. And then when I processed what she has just told me, I was inconsolable for about 15 minutes while sitting alone in my car. I couldn't even speak words. Every moment shared with my father flashed thru my mind. Regrets flooded my heart. I wished I would've called him more often. The finality of the news was too much to process.
My boss insisted that I go home but I insisted on staying at work. The last thing I wanted to do was go home and sit in silence with only my thoughts to keep me company. I'd rather be distracted by work than spend the next 7 hours contemplating my father's untimely death.
That was the best decision I made. Work allowed me to come back to Earth forcing me to focus on things unrelated to the tragic news while at the same time working thru the grief in my own way.
I made peace with myself and my father that day. It was a struggle, but it was something that I had to do. I made a commitment to move on as quickly as possible. I knew in my heart that the last thing my father would've wanted is his children unable to move on from his death.
I chose to immediately move on and leave my father in the past, which at this point enables me to freely discuss his death without emotional distress.
My advice to people when faced with the death of a loved one: Attempt to make peace and move on as soon as possible regardless of how monumental that task seems at that time.
This post was edited on 3/25/15 at 12:49 pm
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:45 pm to mizzoukills
Ill let you know in hopefully many years
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:45 pm to mizzoukills
The only post you have ever made that didn't make me wanna off myself.
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:45 pm to ksayetiger
Dont even want to think about it. shite, all of my grandparents are still in good health
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:45 pm to mizzoukills
Haven't had to go thru that yet.
Sounds like a good plan.
Sounds like a good plan.
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:46 pm to mizzoukills
Write made up stories about a drubk hitting a home run in his frst game
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:48 pm to mizzoukills
both parents still alive thank God and wife's parents as well. hoping for many many more years with them
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:50 pm to Tiger Ryno
I lost my dad and went to school 2 days later. I couldn't sit at home and dwell on it. I had to get my mind off of it.
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:51 pm to mizzoukills
It's inevitable. Copious amounts of alcohol helped the process for me.
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:51 pm to fightingtiger2335
quote:
Write made up stories about a drubk hitting a home run in his frst game
For starters, your grammar is awful. Also, my Oscar Taveras story is very true. I'll never apologize for having a great experience at Busch Stadium that involved an Oscar Taveras homerun.
If anything you're a true piece of shite for poorly attempting to connect my Busch Stadium experience to his bad decision to drive drunk in the off season.
What a piece of shite you are. You're a true piece of shite. Congrats, bro!
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:52 pm to mizzoukills
always thought I'd lose it when my Dad passed away, he was an awesome man, but he died of Alzheimers and for better or worse I had the opportunity to say farewell over a period of years, when he died, and he chose the time, it was somewhat of a relieve for everyone, don't ever skip an opportunity to say I love you to someone you love
This post was edited on 3/25/15 at 12:55 pm
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:53 pm to TigernMS12
quote:
I lost my dad and went to school 2 days later. I couldn't sit at home and dwell on it. I had to get my mind off of it.
I completely understand why you did that. No one can truly understand until they go through it. And there's no two ways about it...that experience sucks, but it'll happen to us all several times throughout our lives.
Enjoy every moment.
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:54 pm to Tiger Ryno
lost both my parents within 13 months...its tough
This post was edited on 3/25/15 at 1:47 pm
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:54 pm to ksayetiger
What ksaye said
I don't even like thinking about that type of stuff
I don't even like thinking about that type of stuff
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:55 pm to 777Tiger
Still wating.
- future trust fund baby
- future trust fund baby
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:55 pm to 777Tiger
quote:
don't ever skip an opportunity to say I love you to someone you love
Exactly.
I simply remind myself of my father when I realize that I haven't told my wife or children that I love them for a day or so. Therefore, I tell them that as much as I possibly can.
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:55 pm to mizzoukills
After a few days, just think that they you just haven't seen them in a while, but eventually will.
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:55 pm to Sparkplug#1
quote:
Still wating. - future trust fund baby
Posted on 3/25/15 at 12:56 pm to mizzoukills
Dad unexpectedly died in January. For me it was life altering. I hated my job and realized I only have so many precious few years on this Earth before I die, so why not be happy doing something you want to do as opposed to just making money and being a miserable a-hole.
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