re: Breaking news: Non-referee entered refs locker room and took game balls

I'm waiting for the Patriots' next scientific dry run to be explained to the media.

"We conducted a series of real-time experiments. It took approximately 90 seconds to go into the bathroom, remove the penis from the pants, evacuate the bladder, re-insert the penis back into the trousers, wash the hands, and exit the bathroom. Go ahead... you can try it on your own. Keep in mind there are many variables, such as how full the bladder is and how many penis shakes are performed at the end of the urination process. I'm embarrassed to admit how much time I've spent on this, and this is the last I'm going to talk about it for a long, long time".