re: Does Christmas always involve a small twinge of sadness?

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yes. I have had some really bad christmas experiences growing up. My father left my mother the day after my birthday and the weekend before christmas. Plus a lot of bad experiences with my father.

Those memories seem to trump the mostly positive experiences I have had in the last 15 years. it was pretty traumatic on the family, I guess, and I can't forget that.

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I've had some pretty shitty Christmases in the past as well. The Christmas after my maternal grandmother died (she was raising me and my brother) all I got for Christmas that year was a pack of tube socks. We'd been sent to live with relatives from our Father's side, which they were all strangers to us. They did Christmas for all the grand kids over at the grandparents house. I sat there with my pack of tube socks watching all the other grand kids open all sorts of presents. That kinda sucked for a 14 yr old kid.

It got worse though, a couple years later when I was 16 I spent Christmas eve and Christmas day in a trailer in Nectar Alabama alone with no power, no water, no food. It was in the 20's & 30's and all I had for heat or light was a small portable kerosene heater.

Those Christmases sucked for sure but what they did was teach me to be glad for whatever it is I have because it can always be worse.