re: My Wife Has Been Diagnosed with Lupus

No family members, but I've had friends and I deal with it a lot, professionally (don't ask). I don't intend for this to be preachy, so sorry if it gets there for you.

The disease progresses differently, sometimes vastly, for most patients. There are exciting new drugs and treatment modalities coming out to treat various parts of it. Patients generally have to cycle onto Prednisone periodically, and that's a devil's bargain if there ever was one.

The basics remain the same, though. Remain as active as possible (although she will likely have to watch her sun exposure, particularly with various medications), eat right, get plenty of fluids, exercise, while avoiding things that cause inflammation. It is an autoimmune response, by and large (similar to RA), so you want an immune system that is neither robust nor weak - which will cause problems as she ages.

Her health maintenance just became a full-time job. She will have good days, and bad days (flares). Flares may last days or weeks. You will have to do more to help when she's doing poorly and you should not be resentful about it - it is what it is. You took some sort of oath, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and all that - now is the time that stops being BS and starts to mean something.

Good news - there has never been a better time in history to have lupus and it is not a death sentence. It constitutes a lifelong, chronic disease that will affect the quality of both of your lives. The better you handle it the better off you'll be.

Good luck and G-d bless you both.