re: Hulk from Avengers

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My point:
Loki's rod in same room as Tony= fricks him up
Loki's rod touching Tony's chest= nada

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First, Tony was working in the room with the rod for hours.

Second, the "influence" of the rod, denoted by the perspective shift in the shot, and the active use of the Rod by Loki to literally take control of someone are two completely different things. Again, camerawork and effects tell you this.

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Or.... You have to consider what is convenient:
Early in movie.... Hulksmash good guys
Late in movie..... Hulksmash bad guys

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And again, the rest of the avengers don't know about the good hulk/bad hulk rules

They wouldn't want that dude anywhere near the fight, and Loki's irresistible rod.

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First, they make the case that Banner is the ONLY one with the knowledge to track the tesseract, so the risk is worth it and they mention this. Second, they don't know the rules of the rod. Banner explicitly states at one point in the film that he's in control. That he's at peace, he says, "I wouldn't be here unless I was." Everyone is very clear about the danger he can pose, and Banner would not have said yes if he wasn't in control.

Until the rod affects him.