re: Thinking of taking me 3 and 5 yr old sons tent camping this weekend

Don't stay home. If you've never done it before, head to your nearest state park with availability near restrooms. Bring sleeping bags, stuff to cook on the fire, and maybe a game or two so y'all can play when they get tired of hiking and exploring.
Tell them mom kicked y'all out of the house and bring you some beer for when you put them to bed.
Enjoy the peace. Always a good time.