re: I need an EPL team to root for

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Not a Real Man

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Yep, this guy´ll fit in.

Arsenal and Liverpool have the two biggest followings on this board. Pretty sure United and Arsenal dominate the United States in terms of fan support. Liverpool and Chelsea aren't far behind.

Watching Jozy play in the Prem for the first time will be fun, but Sunderland wasn't exactly an entertaining team to watch last season. They've made some moves this summer though, so that may change.

What I'm saying is keep your mind open and just try to watch a bunch of matches. You will find a team you identify with.

Here is my updated NFL comparison:

Man U = Cowboys - just don't pick them
Liverpool = Packers - Deep rooted, lots of past success, always in the mix
Chelsea = Patriots - most talented, wealthy and better behaved fan base
Arsenal = Giants - popular team in a large city, long-term coach who faces criticism but gets results
Manchester City = Texans - new to the limelight, lots of talent
Everton = Colts - knowledgeable fans, well managed, broad appeal, same colors
Aston Villa = Bears - Main fan base in a big industrial city, very hot and cold on the field
Newcastle = Eagles - Probably the rowdiest fan base, usually in the mix, give criminal players second chances
Fulham = Cardinals - everyone forgets about them, but sometimes they can catch you by surprise
Stoke = Ravens - they might not score that much, but you'll be black and blue after the game
Tottenham Hotspur = Jets - little brother from biggest city, make a lot of noise but never break into the elite, high player turnover
Sunderland = Seahawks - like the team, not the coach; northern coastal city
Hull City = Browns - don't pick them unless you are a masochist
West Brom = Bengals - irrelevant until recently, surprising results w/ sub-par players
Norwich = Jacksonville - peaceful town and fan base
Swansea = Panthers - exciting at times, but not a real threat at this point
Southampton = Chargers - strong at developing talent, coastal city
West Ham = Raiders - good history, irrelevant lately, blue-collar fan base
Cardiff/Crystal Palace - newly promoted, too early to assign a team