re: TM7 interview tonight

more quotes from the interview.

"I remember worrying about me playing in my home town and showing up and damn, I don't think I'm going to show up," he said. "I hope I show up. I hope I have a game like I did against Georgia or Auburn. And it really took me out of my preparation for the game. I didn't give up a touchdown but I gave up four or five passes. Passes when I knew they were going to run that route. I mean, I knew they were going to run that route. But I didn't prepare myself. I was worried about everything outside the game."

When Miles informed him in a 5:30 a.m. meeting that "you can't be a part of our family anymore" Mathieu said he began sobbing. He asked a school official to notify his parents because he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"There was nothing anybody could do at that point," Mathieu said, crying. "I had to accept the responsibility that I was never going to play for LSU again. The only school that believed in me. And I didn't even believe in them. I felt I was a loyalty person. Looking back, I didn't know anything about loyalty. I could talk it, but you know, walking it, was a whole different thing. And when you realize you're not loyal, that's what hurts the most. When you realize you lied to people, that's what hurts the most."

"I had to regain everything that I lost at LSU," Mathieu said. "I didn't want to go to another school and they call me the Honey Badger. They didn't know how hard I worked to become the Honey Badger. They don't know Tyrann. LSU is the only fan base that truly knows Tyrann. I couldn't play for another school. I just couldn't do it. I wouldn't have given my all playing for another school. I was only going to give my all for LSU."

"I fell back into the same trap that got me suspended," Mathieu said. "The entire September even into October, I'd go up the football dorms, to encourage those guys, and I'd go back to my room. Didn't go out. Didn't do anything. But then you just get comfortable. People just talking good about you. 'Oh, Tyrann, he's doing good. He's not missing classes.' And then you start to confuse yourself again. Everything is not good. I'm paying for school. They're not checking my classes, even though I take classes with football players. They're not looking at Tyrann anymore. When you surround yourself with the wrong people it's going to backfire every time."

Notably, can he stop smoking marijuana?

"Yes," he said. "I've stopped."

How?

"It's a mind thing," Mathieu said. "It's a mind thing. The rehab I've been to, the counseling I've been to, my mama and daddy jumping down my throat, Coach Miles popping by my apartment, none of that could stop me if I didn't want to stop. If I didn't want happiness for myself, nobody else can want it for me."

"When they call my phone, 'Nah, I'm with my girlfriend,' " Mathieu said. " 'I'm about to go work out. I've got something to do.' I'm growing up now. It ain't that I'm lying to them. I'm saving myself. Because I've got an outlook on life I know what's behind that door. I know why you're calling my phone. We've only got a few things in common. And it's not football."

"People see the Honey Badger and they see this fearless guy," Mathieu said. "This guy who's going to go balls to the wall and just give it his all. But off the field I was really quiet. I was really laid back, really humble. Once the Honey Badger took off, it's like, you have to be a different person. You have to be fearless walking around school. You have to have this mean look on your face, like every day is a football game."

"When you go to rehab and counseling, it's not about the physical person," he said. "It's about the person inside of you, the soul of you, the spirit of you. Many times I looked in the mirror and didn't see anything. Couldn't see anything. I didn't see anything in the mirror. It was me, but I didn't truly know my soul, my spirit.

"Some nights you have to think yourself to sleep rather than cry yourself to sleep. But it's truly a blessing to find that person in the mirror. I know who Tyrann is. Stop walking around like that. Put a smile on. You're a good person. You're a good kid. That's Tyrann. Not the Honey Badger. I'll turn it up on Saturday or Sundays. Hopefully Sundays. But that's not me off the field."

Mathieu knows some NFL teams will view him as high risk.

"I know what it feels like to be on the dark side," Mathieu said. "I know what it feels like every day not being able to sleep. Just thinking about football. I know what it feels like to hurt. I know what it feels like to lie to people. I know what it feels like for people not to trust you. I know my mistakes throw red flags up. But I want people to trust me. When I get back on that field, I don't want to get off. I don't ever want to leave this game again."