re: buying a 9mm

Civildawg,
You've asked a good question. Sounds like your main use will NOT be concealed carry. Consequently, you don't need one of the smaller, lighter 9mm's or one w/ a single stack mag. You need a full size gun. No need to handicap yourself w/ a smaller one. When shooting handguns, a bigger gun is usually easier to shoot and train w/ than is a smaller gun.

The main thing YOU need to do is to educate yourself so YOU can decide what YOU want/need. I'm not going to tell you that "I own gun B, it's the best gun out there and you're an idiot it you don't buy gun B/thread." What are you looking for?
Double action only, double action/single action or striker fired?
External safety lever or no external safety lever?
Grip safety or no grip safety?
Round capacity?
Loaded chamber indicator or no LCI?
Frame material-polymer, steel, alloy or combinations?

Lots of good info here. It should get you started.
LINK

As far as rounds, the 9mm is fine, especially for a newbie. The handgun self defense rounds w/ the best records for putting an end to the hostilities are the 357 Mag, 357 Sig, 9mm, 40 S&W and 45 ACP. The 9mm rounds is cheapest of them all. 9mm is also prolly easiest for most to learn w/.