helpful finance/healthcare advice on elder care for those whom are POA/Trustee

This might go on the helpful links page at the bottom.

I will offer as much help as I can.

there are others that may be better at this and you can disagree with my OP all you want. Just please offer the correct counter point as to why so I can correct OP.


I wanted to share as much as I can in case you ever have to go through this. This is only based on my recent experience. It is a lot, and it can feel overwhelming, but you can stack a lot of wins early. Some parts take a long time, but the work is meaningful.
I’m going to name some people who helped me because they made a huge difference.
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Hire a Money Manager / Financial Advisor
It costs some money (around $500/month in my case), but it saves you an incredible amount of time and stress.
My father’s advisor and MM:
• Helped me at the Register of Deeds
• Kept spreadsheets projecting father's financial future
• Helps with required minimum distributions
• Helped me get tax documents like 1099s when I had no idea where to find them when my father finally contacted me after 10 years of not speaking to me.
• Still manages the portfolio
Could I have done it myself? Yes.
But having someone who does this every day is huge.
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Placement Help (Assisted Living, Memory Care, SNF placement)
Jennifer Szakaly (pronounced SockEye)
?? (704) 492-0554
Company: Caregiving Corner
She was instrumental in placing my father.
They will:
• Interview your parent
• Figure out care needs
• Match them with facilities that have openings AND will accept them.....my father was violent and was banned from two facilities when not medicated
• Fill out FL2 forms and placement paperwork
Cost was about $600 for me.
Important lesson:
Staff quality matters more than how nice a place looks. Staffing turnover is one of the biggest issues in memory care and assisted living…look for staff continuity. Mike King would know these of the top of his head.
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Legal Documents You Need ASAP
Get these done early:
• Healthcare POA
• Financial POA
• Living Will
• Advance Directives
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Social Security (Very Important)
Social Security may NOT accept POA alone.
They may require a Letter of Incompetence / Capability Determination from doctors.
This can include:
• Statements from people who know the person
• Doctor documentation about physical or mental limitations
• Court documentation if applicable
Also, expect long wait times and delays. Just mentally prepare for that.
-my dad tried to sue me twice even though he made me poa and trustee. He also would go open two or three MM accounts without me knowing. The bank would not allow me to handle these accounts until I got letters from two psych doctors or memory care docs.
-Regarding financial POAs, don’t assume the bank will accept one drafted by an attorney. Check directly with the bank to see if they require their own version of a POA.
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Taxes
If your parent did not keep paperwork organized:
• Financial advisors can help locate 1099s
• They can help confirm Social Security income history
• They can help you rebuild financial records
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Things I Learned After My Father Passed
Trust Accounts vs Probate (Big One)
I wish I had moved more money into trust accounts earlier.
Accounts not in trust may go into probate, which creates another legal process.
Look for documents called:
Assignment to Trust (or similar wording)
This usually means personal assets are meant to be part of the trust.
Note:
Cars are usually probate assets even if listed elsewhere.
A Pour Over Will places all items back into the trust after they are viewed by probate.
Clerk of court may say, "I need everything...." no she doesn't. SHe needs non-trust accounts only. Don't give everything to her. Just non-trust accounts.
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Probate Basics
Probate is the court process that decides where assets go after death.
Things to know:
• There is usually time to start (often up to around 2 years, varies by state)
• Once you start probate, deadlines begin
• If someone might contest a will, starting earlier can help
• If you have access to trust funds, you may not need to rush
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Practical Probate Steps
1. Identify which accounts are trust vs non-trust
2. Give attorney full financial inventory
3. Understand what a pour-over will means (missed assets go to trust after probate)
4. Expect probate costs
5. Clerk usually only needs non-trust assets, not everything
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Final Thought
This is a lot to handle, but you can make progress quickly with the right people helping you.
If you ever go through this, build a team early:
• Attorney
• Financial Advisor
• Placement Specialist
If you ever need help walking through this, I will share anything I learned.