re: Complicated marriage/legal question involving finances

Both of you are entitled to withdraw money from your joint account for any purpose you or she feels like. You are allowed to have an account in just your name. Nothing illegal or immoral about either.

FWIW, since both accounts mentioned are at the same bank, I would request that your new/personal account be put on restricted access. This way a teller or csr can’t give her any information about the account.