re: My Mom has been getting worse with her dementia

I’m very sorry you’re going through this. I went through this with my mom and sister. Forget the pharmaceutical snake oil, like Namenda XR, that costs $400/month…it’s useless. She’s going to get worse in the evening. It’s called Sundowners.

Be patient and understanding with her. Don’t be confrontational. Don’t take it personally if you’re accused of some crazy stuff. Take valuables away and keep guns and knives locked up.

Keep Social Services out if possible. They will make her a “ward of the State” and bleed her dry of assets. That happened to my sister.

Get Power of Attorney both financially and medically…yes, they are separate entities. Transfer any valuable assets, like house and land out of her name or they can possibly be seized by the evil State and Social Services.

Unless you have a frick ton of money. I’ll give you an example. I eventually couldn’t take care of my mom anymore and also work. I placed her in a 5 star nursing home and there’s a waiting list. $1,400/month. But once they become unruly, and they will, they will be kicked out. Went through 4 nursing homes. The final costed me $6,000/mo.

I’m not trying to scare you…just prepare you. You can let her become a Ward of the State and they will seize all her assets and throw her in the shittiest nursing home there is.

Keep her engaged with family and friends during the day. Just know come sundown it’s a different ballgame. Hopefully get her some meds to help her sleep early.

Again, be patient with her and don’t take anything personally she says. It’s a horrible disease. Sorry man.