re: What's the most amount of money you'd put down on a new house? It would be a new build.

Everyone is going at this from straight mortgage.

How much are you anticipating paying for preschool and when? Where I live in For F@*% Bend County, in TX, I paid my amount in property taxes for pre-school every year. It was not great. ($2k+ a month)

Even when in moved into my first house, that cost $96k, I dropped $2k to get basic appliances in there, and I was single. If you're married up, you will spend an astronomical amount of money. If you think she's long term, introduce the principle of a "prioritization list." Backyard or sinks first? Pergola or new stove? Bait her into making decisions. If she can't make a choice, I will meet you at the bachelor bar in a few years.

Prioritize. If she can't do it, or you can't figure it out, get out.