re: Bring Us Your Roommate Horror Stories

I had a roommate in the Air Force named Jared. Dude looked like a coked out Ryan Phillippe. My previous roommate, who was cool as shite, got out of the F and moved back home. I definitely could afford the rent($340/month for a two bedroom) but Jared wanted to get out of the dorms so I let him move in.

I lived in an apartment complex next to a really nice Mexican couple who would bring me leftovers all the time. Well, Jared would have parties when I was at work and the cops would be called all the time and since his name wasn't on the lease, I would always get in trouble.

He once brought home this nasty arse girl from the club and I woke up the next day and couldn't find my chocolate syrup so I knocked on his door and the dude told me he inserted the chocolate syrup in that chick and ate it out. He also brought another girl home who tried flushing her tampon out and got the toilet clogged and then for some reason, sprayed my shaving cream all over the bathroom. I kicked him out after that.

He ended up getting kicked out for cocaine. Go figure. I know remember him always wiping his nose when he lived with me. He's dead now(car wreck)