re: On this day in 2020, Kyle Rittenhouse created the Kenosha hat trick

Posted on 8/25/23 at 3:40 pm to stout

Posted by fr33manator

Baton Rouge

Member since Oct 2010

124974 posts

Posted on 8/25/23 at 3:40 pm to stout

That's the line I used in my parody of "El Paso"...

Kenosha(to the tune of El Paso by Marty Robbins)

Out in the Wisconsin town of Kenosha,
Ne’er -do-well thugs and Antifa did burn,
Looting and shooting, the cops were outnumbered,
Decent folks cowered with nowhere to turn,

Black were the masks of the wicked anTifa,
among their number a short pedophile,
Standing against them some makeshift defenders,
Including a husky young hero named Kyle,

That night the vile short pedo he tried,
To taunt them and start up a fiiii-IIIII-iiight,
Shouting and swearing, “shoot me!” He was daring,
As Kyle doused a fire that they tried to light,

In an ambush, the pedo chased Kyle until he was cornered,
He chased The boy down as he shouted F*ck you
In less than a heartbeat his challenge was answered,
A hole in his hip, Kyle’s gun went Pew Pew,

Over the midget then Kyle did stand,
A mob growing large as he di-IIIII-iied,
Seeing his danger surrounded by strangers,
Away he ran rifle slung by his side,

Just as fast as he could from the scene in the heart of Kenosha,
Towards the police line he started to go,

Chased by the mob, well his life was now worthless,
Rittenhouse tripped, and he fell in the street,
He was surrounded, they came to attack him,
He had but one chance and that was to Yeet,

Then came Antifa to finish him off,
Swung a skateboard to the he-eeeaaa-ad,
Up from the ground, he let loose with a good round,
With a kickflip his attacker lay dead,

And there, pinned down by himself in the streets of Kenosha,
Under attack our reluctant hero,
Only the rifle that’s slung there beside him,
Will get him away from the mob,
This he knows,

Out for his blood More approaching Antifa,
Trying to disarm him they kick at his head,
A man stands before him now faking surrender,
But the gun in his hands says he wants Kyle
Dead,

Something goes dreadfully wrong as he sees,
The pistol there clutched in his griiii-iiiii-iiiip,
As he pulls his trigger his rifle delivers,
A full metal jacket, his bicep is ripped,

Without his rifle the mob would have killed him,
Videos captured his clear self defense,
In spite of the lies believe what your eyes tell you,
Those who’d condemn him, corrupted or dense,

His enemies downed he got up where he’d fallen,
He walked from the fray with his hands in the air,
His victims a wife beater, Commie and pedo,
The Kenosha Hat Trick,
Antifa Beware