re: How do people cope with separation or divorce?

As others have mentioned, don’t cope with alcohol. That’s what I did, and became so severely addicted I was drinking between a fifth and handle of vodka daily, and eventually had made terms in my mind I was going to actively drink myself to death, and hoped it would come swiftly.

Luckily I had people who cared about me enough to get me to the hospital, where I spent a month. I was nearly dead, in liver and kidney failure, and almost bled to death into the toilet. Required 24 pints worth of blood transfusions over that time.

I spent a year getting my life back together, through rehabs and the like. Which I had been to several times before. This time was different in that I actually wanted to stop finally, and I surrendered my stubbornness and pride to God and became truly content with life and what I had. Despite what anyone says, or how controversial it is, an addict will stop when they actually want to. And they can stop for good.

I am now engaged again and have much more peace and clarity, because I truly love this woman and it has made me realize I did not love the other, because I had not experienced true love. I am truly happy and at peace with my life, and I am a living testimony to many people.

So, with all that said, the only thing that helped me was time and finding clarity through sobriety and perspective. I achieved all of this the most difficult way possible, and I am very lucky to be not only alive but still thriving. Don’t do what I did. Try to place your faith and trust in God.