re: How do people cope with separation or divorce?

quote:

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We have had big issues for years and she decided to end it. There is no cheating or abuse. Over the years we just became toxic to each other. Couldn’t get along. I am to blame for a lot of it. She suggested marriage counseling a couple of times and my stupid stubborn arse said no, and we could handle it ourselves. Obviously now it’s a huge regret. She isn’t being a bitch to me or anything but I hate it cause I just want to hate her but I can’t you know. We have 3 daughters and that’s the worst part for me know is knowing we have to tell them eventually. We agreed to wait til we are officially separated.

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As a therapist who has worked with couples, you still may have a shot. Ask her to go to couples counseling with you. Tell her you fricked up and you want to give it one last shot. Be humble here. Not saying she isn’t at fault as well (it takes two) but you may still be able to salvage things.

Also get an individual therapist for yourself. Work your own shite out. Even if you don’t work things out with her this can make you a better partner in your next relationship.

Google Psychology Today and you should be able to find both for your area.