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re: Have any of you been distanced from your Dad and he passed away during that time?
Posted on 12/12/22 at 10:11 pm to idlewatcher
Posted on 12/12/22 at 10:11 pm to idlewatcher
About the time I turned 24, my parents separated. My dad bought the illusion that the grass was greener on the other side, when in reality it wasn't.
During the next year I met my future wife, I proposed, and we set a date. As time passed, my dad was always evasive about if he would attend my wedding. When the wedding was only 6 weeks away, I asked again if he was coming. He replied that he didn't know if he could keep his composure and not cause a scene with my mom. My response was "if that's the case, then keep your arse at home. Don't even think about coming." Two days later, he killed himself.
There were multiple reason why he did it, but we had become distant in that last year, and it took a long time for me to get over my last words to he being "keep your arse at home." Not knowing what would happen, my anger and/or frustration was justified, but try using logic and reason in such an emotional time.
I wouldn't wish that experience on anybody.
During the next year I met my future wife, I proposed, and we set a date. As time passed, my dad was always evasive about if he would attend my wedding. When the wedding was only 6 weeks away, I asked again if he was coming. He replied that he didn't know if he could keep his composure and not cause a scene with my mom. My response was "if that's the case, then keep your arse at home. Don't even think about coming." Two days later, he killed himself.
There were multiple reason why he did it, but we had become distant in that last year, and it took a long time for me to get over my last words to he being "keep your arse at home." Not knowing what would happen, my anger and/or frustration was justified, but try using logic and reason in such an emotional time.
I wouldn't wish that experience on anybody.
2
Posted on 12/12/22 at 10:37 pm to ronniep1
There were multiple reason why he did it, but we had become distant in that last year, and it took a long time for me to get over my last words to he being "keep your arse at home." Not knowing what would happen, my anger and/or frustration was justified, but try using logic and reason in such an emotional time.
I wouldn't wish that experience on anybody.
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Sorry that happened to you.
I wouldn't wish that experience on anybody.
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Sorry that happened to you.
Posted on 12/13/22 at 12:38 am to ronniep1
quote:
My response was "if that's the case, then keep your arse at home. Don't even think about coming." Two days later, he killed himself. There were multiple reason why he did it, but we had become distant in that last year, and it took a long time for me to get over my last words to he being "keep your arse at home." Not knowing what would happen, my anger and/or frustration was justified, but try using logic and reason in such an emotional time. I wouldn't wish that experience on anybody.
My heart hurts for you right now. This is a brutal thing to experience. While your words and directive to him may have effected him, that suicide was going to happen regardless. He wasn’t at that place because of that moment. He was there for many moments that built up inside him over time. He was a lost soul, and unfortunately nobody recognized that to get him help in time. He clearly didn’t reach out for help.
It’s hard not thinking how you think though. I absolutely would if in your shoes. You know that you shouldn’t, but emotions trump reason more times than we would like it to.
My prayers for you and your family. That is a gut wrenching life experience for all of you involved.
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