re: This is the hardest thing I have ever been through.

Loss like yours is the single most difficult chapter of life. She will be with you in many small ways and details as you mentioned, but just be assured that as time goes on you will find a place to keep those memories that will allow you to go on sharing your future time with your family and loved ones. Expect that it will be difficult and the grief you experience is part of what makes you a human being in the journey we call life.