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re: Wife and I are thinking about adopting
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:17 pm to Teddy Ruxpin
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:17 pm to Teddy Ruxpin
quote:
Its too late for the older ones.
Dam dude...cynical much?
1
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:18 pm to Hu_Flung_Pu
So that is another plus in international adoptions. Most of those kids are true orphans with no living parents...and no one to contest the adoption.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:21 pm to fr33manator
quote:
Do you buy a car you don't really want?
My dad has a smart car, back off! It's not it's fault it was born different.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:25 pm to RedTigerRulz
quote:
Dam dude...cynical much?
No, I just don't have time for fairy tales and pixie dust.
I'm all for adoption. I'm all for successful adoptions. I'm not for going against the odds with some self-delusion that I can somehow beat the odds.
I'm sure some adoptions of older children have been successful, but I don't want to play that game.
This post was edited on 2/26/14 at 2:26 pm
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:25 pm to i am dan
We adopted internationally and had a wonderful experience. However, the longer children are in "the system", whether US or international, the more they are exposed to which can lead to reactive behavior. I would never steer anyone from adoption but, knowing many adoptive parents, strongly encourage you to hire an experienced adoption social worker that can educate you and prepare you.
Let me know if you have adoption questions. Happy to answer.
Let me know if you have adoption questions. Happy to answer.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:28 pm to LSUGrrrl
How much does international run?
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:32 pm to Broke
Agency and country fees run around $45,000. All in, including travel (3 trips), hotel "gifts" for decision makers and ridiculously expensive food, Russja cost us $60k.
This post was edited on 2/26/14 at 2:34 pm
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:34 pm to i am dan
1. Adopt a large African-American
2. Get him on protein
3. Dominate sports
4. Scholarship to LSU
5. Get drafted
6. ????
7. Profit
2. Get him on protein
3. Dominate sports
4. Scholarship to LSU
5. Get drafted
6. ????
7. Profit
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:35 pm to fr33manator
quote:
You'll never be able to really understand them. It's a barrier that exists, whether you want it to or not. You can love them all you want, but they'll know something is different. Better, IMO, for a child to at least be able to think they are your "tribe", in a sense.
This isn't true all the time. Ive seen a white family adopt a black child before. They appeared to love him, but the mother and daughter/sister didn't like him. Only the dad did. There is another case where a white family adopted a Chinese girl. I think she is loved.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:36 pm to lsunurse
quote:
So that is another plus in international adoptions. Most of those kids are true orphans with no living parents...and no one to contest the adoption.
Exactly why we went international.
1) Baby (12 months) as opposed to older
2) No opposition to adoption and all are closed
3) Able to easily adopt child of same race
Now that I'm more experienced in parenting & adoption, I would have no issues adopting inter-racially. However, there are additional issues the family has to overcome when you do this. That's why I wanted to avoid it the first time around.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:37 pm to lsunurse
quote:
another plus in international adoptions. Most of those kids are true orphans with no living parents...and no one to contest the adoption.
A kid in America has options. In places like India, theyre on their own... You are saving their life . If I get married, im adopting an Indian/black kid.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:39 pm to Roho
quote:
A kid in America has options. In places like India, theyre on their own... You are saving their life .
Oh I'm totally in agreement with you.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:42 pm to lsufan1971
quote:
I saw a story a few years ago I think on 60 minutes where this couple decided to adopt an older kid. He turned out to be a sociopath and was so bad they wanted to give him back to the state.
Are you sure you weren't watching Problem Child?
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:45 pm to illuminatic
The biggest concern for institutionalized children who have been in an orphanage for 2-3+ years from birth is RAD - Reactive Attachment Disorder. Basically, if a child doesn't form a bond with another human before the age of 2-3, it can be very difficult for them ever to do so. This leads to a lack of empathy and ability to relate to other people.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:46 pm to Roho
I think you did the opposite of what you intended with your post.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:46 pm to LSUGrrrl
Basically, youre gonna have Dexter on your hands.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:50 pm to Roho
Dexter very well could have RAD. That said, not all or even most institutionalized children have RAD. It's just something you have to consider, especially when adopting older children. Most have also been exposed to sexual activity by 7 or so. A very good social worker can really help someone considering adoption understand what potential issues there are and what to look for. I have worked with over 70 couples who have adopted - just answering questions and empathizing when "the wait" gets tough. Out of all of those, only 1 child had issues.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:53 pm to illuminatic
quote:
I think you did the opposite of what you intended with your post.
What do you mean? im all for international adoption.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:54 pm to LSUGrrrl
quote:
Russja cost us $60k
Yeah, I'm out. Too much money for me.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:59 pm to LSUGrrrl
I am trying to convince the wife to try the adoption/foster care route. We currently have 2 girls ages 4&6 and she wants another baby! I know the next will be a girl too & that shite aint happening! She only wants to adopt a baby & I would like a 5-7 yr old boy of any race or color. But like a previous poster stated foster care maybe your best route too, as long as your wife is cool with it.
This post was edited on 2/26/14 at 3:01 pm
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