re: What's the most ridiculous thing a woman has gotten mad at you for?

Wanting to get her naked. She kneed me in the balls and I collapsed on her bed.

Banged her sister.

Absolute rascals on this forum! Charlatans!

I jest (yes, i for once and not my jesters)

Story time

Following an intense Cornell midterm i made the mistake of having my driver bring me over to Yonkers to fetch the future Mrs. S from Sarah Lawrence. We retreated to the Hamptons for what was supposed to be a quiet weekend away from the hub-bubb of university.

She suggested a simple picnic with fresh French bread akin to that served to father and i on a business trip to New Orleans by a strange but friendly vagabond who only spoke to his mother, not to mention the assortment of fine cheeses and the Eastern seaboard’s best olive oil. As i prepared the bread for cutting i heard the bark of a most unscrupulous harbor seal who had the gall to threaten our beachside snack.

“Defense positions!” I yelled, perhaps out of some sort of post traumatic stress disorder related incident taking me back to my Exeter fencing days. I gathered myself but had, in a haze, picked up a piece of driftwood and began to taunt the seal.

“En garde, seal! I say! Retreat to the sea at once or i shall exchange thy blubber for booty!”

Mrs S. (Perhaps either aghast by my behavior or my use of the word “booty” in lieu of something more modern like “loot”) slipped on her Yves Saint-Laurent slippers and made haste towards the bungalow. Disaster!

I dined alone on the beach that night, my friends, though the seal and i made peace by way of a shared admiration for camembert and Chopin’s E minor nocturne.

Friend of mine got a divorce because he was cheating on his wife. Somehow, I ended up having to defend myself that I was faithful.

I made too much Quinoa for dinner one night

Was cooking dinner at a girls house and she fussed me for cooking too much quinoa…. She literally lectured me on wasting food.

I had purchased all of the food for the dinner…

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Something I did in her dream

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So my daughter wakes up at 11 pm last night crying for Mom (usually its for me), and when I get in there she starts complaining that her brother, who when he goes to bed sleeps like a boulder, just did something to her.

My brother’s wife got mad at him once in a convenience store because the lady behind the counter called him “Sug”. Her issue was she considered it disrespectful to her. When my bother pointed out he could not control what this woman called him, that only made matters worse.

I had the nerve to be an LSU fan the last time Ole Miss was any good. NSFW
LINK

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I have to say the worst ones have come, like you described, not because of the original
and always inexplicable offense, but in the witty sarcastic or irreverent response.

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it is just how im wired - we laugh about it now, but i never let her forget - when i buy dog food, i always buy at least 1 pack or Racheal Ray food for the dog.

I am always digging the hole lol

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One time I walked past my now wife in the living room and she started crying bc I didn't look at her

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