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re: So that was awkward
Posted on 11/19/14 at 12:51 am to rebeloke
Posted on 11/19/14 at 12:51 am to rebeloke
Met the wife of one of the guys that I work with (not American) for the first time. Another co-worker who happens to be a realtive of his and I went by after we knocked off one day.
We ring the doorbell and he waits until he hears footsteps right behind the door to tell me, "don't stare at her moustache." About a half a second later, the door opens and the bearded lady is standing there asking us to "please come in" in broken English.
We ring the doorbell and he waits until he hears footsteps right behind the door to tell me, "don't stare at her moustache." About a half a second later, the door opens and the bearded lady is standing there asking us to "please come in" in broken English.
0
Posted on 11/19/14 at 1:08 am to CaliforniaTiger
Falsely thinking a woman is pregnant is quickly becoming more common than running into girls named La-ah.
Posted on 11/19/14 at 1:15 am to SwaggerCopter
quote:
Falsely thinking a woman is pregnant is quickly becoming more common than running into girls named La-ah.
Because being all about the bass is cool now.... FOLs
Posted on 11/19/14 at 1:18 am to SabiDojo
Positive reinforcement and visualization always helps man
Posted on 11/19/14 at 1:39 am to KBeezy
After the state championships I went out to Bourbon. I was 19 at the time. Got black out drunk. Come back to hotel which is with my Dad's family. Wake up next day and go to bathroom. While pissing I realized I was naked. Walk out and apparently at some point I puked on my little brother's head. Was still drunk and my Dad had to drive me home while step mom drove my siblings.
Good times
Good times
Posted on 11/19/14 at 1:49 am to rebeloke
My kids and I were at Home Depot and one of the workers was in a wheelchair. My kid, about 8 at the time asked "what happened to your legs?" 
The guy was way cool though. He explained why one shouldn't dive into the shallow end of pools, and actually said he likes when kids ask him because he can advise them to not make the mistake.
The guy was way cool though. He explained why one shouldn't dive into the shallow end of pools, and actually said he likes when kids ask him because he can advise them to not make the mistake.
Posted on 11/19/14 at 6:28 am to SoulGlo
Kids...
Posted on 11/19/14 at 6:54 am to rebeloke
So many....
1. About 1980 in Maine- Burger King- I blurt out to my mom in my loudest 4 year old voice "Look mom, a black man!". Had never seen one before except on TV. Mom was pissed and I'm sure the guy was too
1. About 1980 in Maine- Burger King- I blurt out to my mom in my loudest 4 year old voice "Look mom, a black man!". Had never seen one before except on TV. Mom was pissed and I'm sure the guy was too
Posted on 11/19/14 at 7:09 am to rebeloke
I was holding the door open at a restaurant for a couple coming in behind my group one time. I usually respond with "your welcome" or "no problem" when thanked for holding doors. Got a little mixed up and said "your problem" and the look on ther faces said it all
Posted on 11/19/14 at 7:10 am to lsewwww
16 year old me is working at a produce stand in BR. A lady that looks like she could give birth any second is walking to her car with a buggy full of groceries and a watermelon. I say, "Ma'am, let me help you with your stuff." She says, "No, it's ok I can handle it." I say, "Ma'am, I have to help all the pregnant ladies with their stuff, it's no problem!" She's not pregnant...no tip on that one!
A woman can be giving birth in front of me and I will not ask if she is pregnant.
A woman can be giving birth in front of me and I will not ask if she is pregnant.
Posted on 11/19/14 at 7:11 am to rebeloke
Using the N word in front of an old friend not knowing he was married to one.
This post was edited on 11/19/14 at 7:12 am
Posted on 11/19/14 at 7:18 am to rebeloke
When she told me "wrong hole".
Posted on 11/19/14 at 7:37 am to foshizzle
quote:
When she told me "wrong hole".
I'm guessing this wasn't golf related...
Posted on 11/19/14 at 7:48 am to shinerfan
quote:
Looked just like David Allen Coe. I'm pretty drunk and burning the illicit fuels as well. When I go to the bar to buy a mixer I ask the girl, "Is that really David Allen Coe?" She gives me the coldest look I've ever seen and says, "No, that's my momma."
Posted on 11/19/14 at 7:52 am to foshizzle
That's not my finger either...
Posted on 11/19/14 at 7:56 am to rebeloke
A friend of mine is the king of awkward moments. When he was a kid, he and his mom were in an elevator. A nun in her habit entered the elevator and he shouted out "Mom ... look ... a witch!"
The nun was apparently cool about it and told his mom she might want to explain to him what a nun was.
Same guy got hammered at a firm Christmas party and knocked on the only female partner's head, saying "McFly ... McFly."
The nun was apparently cool about it and told his mom she might want to explain to him what a nun was.
Same guy got hammered at a firm Christmas party and knocked on the only female partner's head, saying "McFly ... McFly."
Posted on 11/19/14 at 8:00 am to rebeloke
I had recently watched a Patton Oswalt special where he had used the phrase "smells like a baby's coffin."
I was on the phone with a friend and she mentioned something smelling bad. Without even thinking I asked her if it "smelled like a baby's coffin" and as soon as it had finished falling out of my mouth I remembered that she had had a very late term miscarriage with her first pregnancy about 3 months prior. I've never felt like a shittier human being.
I was on the phone with a friend and she mentioned something smelling bad. Without even thinking I asked her if it "smelled like a baby's coffin" and as soon as it had finished falling out of my mouth I remembered that she had had a very late term miscarriage with her first pregnancy about 3 months prior. I've never felt like a shittier human being.
This post was edited on 11/19/14 at 8:03 am
Posted on 11/19/14 at 8:03 am to chinhoyang
Spring Break. Went to a party at a friend's beach house and I do not remember any of that. I woke up the next morning on the floor and did not know where the hell I was. As I became more awake I slowly began to realize that I was completely naked. There were also multiple girls in the room, girls that I'm friends with. I stand up with a pillow held in front of me and politely ask where my clothes were. No one knew and laughed. I look pretty good naked but all of these girls that I'm friends with had now seen me naked. I was so embarrassed.
One of the girls who had been sleeping near the door told me she woke up to see some naked guy step over her and piss off the balcony. It was me and I had no memory of it.
I can only think back on that morning and cringe
One of the girls who had been sleeping near the door told me she woke up to see some naked guy step over her and piss off the balcony. It was me and I had no memory of it.
I can only think back on that morning and cringe
Posted on 11/19/14 at 8:03 am to rebeloke
I used to work in Millworks at Home Depot, ordering doors, and windows and such. I've got my head buried into a computer, and some guy comes up to ask me about some custom stain glass. He knew we didn't sell it but wanted my opinion. I said "JD Glassworks probably could do what you are looking for, but it'll probably cost you an arm and a leg" At that moment, I looked up from the computer and the guy was missing half his fricking arm.
So I went back to the break room, had to find my manager (who was cool as shite btw). Told him what happened. He said "You should've said, 'looks like you've been there before!'"
So I went back to the break room, had to find my manager (who was cool as shite btw). Told him what happened. He said "You should've said, 'looks like you've been there before!'"
Posted on 11/19/14 at 8:03 am to PPL
Patton Oswald and spouse:
Moral: To get a 1.0 you have to be a 1.0?
Moral: To get a 1.0 you have to be a 1.0?
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