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Started By
Message
1
Posted on 9/29/15 at 8:27 am to foshizzle
quote:
What about those of us who are not married, separated, engaged or single? I'm feeling left out.
beware...
beware...
BEWARE....
Posted on 9/29/15 at 8:35 am to DrSteveBrule
quote:
For the people that talked about how they were screwed in court and can't see their kids, we NEVER heard the other side of the story from the other person. Not once.
I know family court is bullshite, and I think the documentary was honest with how people are getting screwed over and bribes are being made, but at the same time I know there are a lot of people out there who take no accountability for their divorces and blame, blame, blame. Knowing that, I want to hear both sides of the story before I make judgments.
yes i have seen some scenarios where if you just heard one side the other person would look horrible. how my dad described my mom during their divorce was one of those examples, but i've seen many in my professional life. the emotional nature of these cases just makes people go insane, and that applies to what they do, what their goals become, and how they see the situation.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 8:41 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
i've seen many in my professional life.
When I was in that business - and there were children involved - I would ask: "Was X a good father/mother?" Almost invariably the answer was "Yes". If it was, I would then say: "Okay - then I'm going to put some conditions on you for my represntation. I'm here to get you a divorce and to make sure there is a fair and equitable distribution of the marital assets AND a child custody arrangement. Keep in mind - I do not intend to pursue this as some sort of extension of all the marital fights and disputes. We're ending the marriage, so that renders all of that moot. Even though you're paying me, I view myself as an advocate for the children first and foremost. These children didn't choose this and they're entitled to a safe, loving home and access to both parents. In fact, I believe that should be the paramount concern of both parties, both attorneys and the court. I intend to proceed from that starting point. Now, having said all of that, do you still want me to represent you?"
No client refused on those grounds. That is where I believe attorneys and courts can improve this system - by taking that approach, rather than the mercenary, "I got into lawyering because I like to fight" motherfrickers. Save that for PI work.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 8:49 am to Sao
quote:
Divorce Corp
Watched this yesterday, and it blew my mind.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 8:50 am to Sao
i was single. then i got engaged. then i got married. haven't dealt with the separated/divorced part yet.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 8:54 am to Ace Midnight
Last time I checked, it didn't cost 5g (retainer) and more to repair my ac or pay a tax preparer...divorce attorneys and judges will take all your money and be greedy about it and lie, say your outcome eill go in your favor even just to get your money before the judgement comes out knowing you won't win...
This post was edited on 9/29/15 at 10:20 am
Posted on 9/29/15 at 8:59 am to Thacian
quote:
Last time I checked, it didn't cost 5g (retainer) and more to repair my ac or pay a tax preparer...divorce attorneys amd judges will take all your money and be greedy about and lie about the outcomes even just to get your money
I never charged a "retainer" - but I did ask for an advance. Out of all of my clients, the domestic ones were the most likely to leave me holding the bag for court costs and unpaid bills. They want to go back and fight, fight, fight, but they're absent when it is time to pay (at least at a much higher rate than other clients).
Posted on 9/29/15 at 9:01 am to Ace Midnight
quote:
No client refused on those grounds. That is where I believe attorneys and courts can improve this system - by taking that approach, rather than the mercenary, "I got into lawyering because I like to fight" motherfrickers. Save that for PI work.
i find the "i like to fight" is much more represented in family law attorneys than in PI
and i don't do much contested stuff anymore, but i will say community property issues are where people really get taken to teh cleaners, at least here. the system here insulates the judges from making decisions on custody and it's geared towards working out custody (via hearing officer, mediation, and pre-trial conferences if necessary). child support is a formula.
i used to just list off the major categories (custody, visitation, domiciliary status, child support, spousal support) and check them off one by one "well you're getting joint so i don't want to hear about custody again. the support is a formula so we're not arguing that very much." to focus on the areas of actual conflict. i'd go through them all and we'd pick which ones were at issue. if they picked too many, i would pass them to another attorney (even after telling them that the only people who win in a custody fight are the attorneys)
Posted on 9/29/15 at 9:13 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
i find the "i like to fight" is much more represented in family law attorneys than in PI
I agree - I was just suggesting that is where, as a profession, we have room for improvements. Some days, I don't know if it is the clients demanding these kinds of lawyers or the lawyers push their clients. But, I had the option of declining to engage in mudslinging and fighting over the kids like they were pieces of meat.
quote:
i will say community property issues are where people really get taken to teh cleaners, at least here.
I did a lot of what you did, Jake, in my own way - explaining about what could be fought about and what was a waste of time. Getting a good, accurate DDL was the payoff - if that was done well, then the rest of the divorce went well. It is when that was done either shoddily or with an agenda is when things got dicey.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 9:16 am to Ace Midnight
quote:
Some days, I don't know if it is the clients demanding these kinds of lawyers or the lawyers push their clients
it's both. it's a symbiotic relationship
and with property shite, it really is true that the more you have, the more there is to fight over...and the ability to fund the fight also existed
sadly i never got to "prime time" status to get really rich people who wanted to fight funding my next few vacations
i just represent the regular ole common folk
Posted on 9/29/15 at 9:32 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
i just represent the regular ole common folk
That's why we're still working, Jake - although I'm working for the gubmint, now.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 2:42 pm to SlowFlowPro
SlowFlowPro what kind of law are you practicing?
This post was edited on 9/29/15 at 2:43 pm
Posted on 9/29/15 at 3:40 pm to MorbidTheClown
quote:
i was single. then i got engaged. then i got married. haven't dealt with the separated/divorced part yet.
I was separated for a few days.
I got married at 21 (absolutely too young) and we both went through some big changes in our late 20s that prompted a near divorce.
I was prepared to take a job out of town without her or my son, but thought better of it and stayed to work it out. Best decision of my life. Rough few years, but we're extremely happy now.
While, I think there's a lot of value being offered here, working it out is not the worst option, and needs to be tried more. obviously some bitches be crazy and guys be a-holes and it can be unavoidable, but people need to try harder. Not directed at anybody on this thread, just in general.
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