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Started By
Message
Update on an Issue You All Helped With
Posted on 8/15/16 at 10:05 am
Posted on 8/15/16 at 10:05 am
Updating This Anchored Thread
We moved back to Birmingham and my wife was able to secure employment as a teacher, but I wasn't. We're now living with my parents, and I'm sending out resumes and picking up guitar students. I've already joined a band (jazz trio) that should bring in about $400/month immediately and should grow as we advertise.
I had no idea this decision would be this hard especially considering how things worked out. I thought I'd get a job and my wife would take care of things at home. Instead, she's got the full time job - luckily at a very good school - and I'm figuring things out at home. Leaving such a prestigious institution has also put me in a state of depression I never knew possible. But I'll get through it.
Because simply having the weight of graduate school off my shoulders has allowed me to allocate some available funds to paying off debt. We'll escape this experience with $3k in debt and that includes everything - car payments, student loans, credit cards, etc. Living with my folks will help us pay that off in 2 months (or less if I start making an income) and put away some money depending on how long we can stand sharing a house with my parents.
When my rental home sells, I'm expecting to have $8000 from the sale after taxes and fees. My security deposit from Auburn is coming back in full, and I have a $1500 payment coming in from a job I worked back in July.
Our budget will now say "$10k in savings and growing" going forward instead of "debt and building," and if I can have success this year in getting work, my wife will still get to have one more year working part time with our son and maybe even stay home with our next kid for the first year using FMLA.
I'm hoping this was the right decision. I feel horribly embarrassed going from future college professor to "please someone anyone give me a job," but the security we'll have very soon should help alleviate those worries.
We moved back to Birmingham and my wife was able to secure employment as a teacher, but I wasn't. We're now living with my parents, and I'm sending out resumes and picking up guitar students. I've already joined a band (jazz trio) that should bring in about $400/month immediately and should grow as we advertise.
I had no idea this decision would be this hard especially considering how things worked out. I thought I'd get a job and my wife would take care of things at home. Instead, she's got the full time job - luckily at a very good school - and I'm figuring things out at home. Leaving such a prestigious institution has also put me in a state of depression I never knew possible. But I'll get through it.
Because simply having the weight of graduate school off my shoulders has allowed me to allocate some available funds to paying off debt. We'll escape this experience with $3k in debt and that includes everything - car payments, student loans, credit cards, etc. Living with my folks will help us pay that off in 2 months (or less if I start making an income) and put away some money depending on how long we can stand sharing a house with my parents.
When my rental home sells, I'm expecting to have $8000 from the sale after taxes and fees. My security deposit from Auburn is coming back in full, and I have a $1500 payment coming in from a job I worked back in July.
Our budget will now say "$10k in savings and growing" going forward instead of "debt and building," and if I can have success this year in getting work, my wife will still get to have one more year working part time with our son and maybe even stay home with our next kid for the first year using FMLA.
I'm hoping this was the right decision. I feel horribly embarrassed going from future college professor to "please someone anyone give me a job," but the security we'll have very soon should help alleviate those worries.
14
Posted on 8/15/16 at 10:18 am to StringedInstruments
What kind of jobs have you interviewed for? Have people with business experience reviewed your resume?
Posted on 8/15/16 at 10:34 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
I'm hoping this was the right decision. I feel horribly embarrassed going from future college professor to "please someone anyone give me a job," but the security we'll have very soon should help alleviate those worries.
you shouldn't be. you tried something and it didn't work out, and you got out before you were in a hole. if anything you should feel proud. most people can't look at a situation and say well that was fricking retarded and get out of it.
Posted on 8/15/16 at 10:37 am to lynxcat
quote:
What kind of jobs have you interviewed for? Have people with business experience reviewed your resume?
Haven't gotten an interview yet.
I mainly pursued teaching jobs - local middle and high schools, community colleges. But I was really late in the game to find employment there.
A few friends of mine have helped me with putting together a resume for technical writing or copywriting. They said I really need to have a good portfolio to have any real shot of getting an interview.
I haven't pursued employment 100% just yet mainly because my wife got a job so quickly. While she was interviewing and putting her classroom together, I took care of our three year old son, got our stuff organized in a storage unit, and helped her with jumping into a school that had already started. Now that things are settling down, I'll be more active in getting a job.
This post was edited on 8/15/16 at 10:39 am
Posted on 8/15/16 at 10:40 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
I'm hoping this was the right decision. I feel horribly embarrassed going from future college professor to "please someone anyone give me a job," but the security we'll have very soon should help alleviate those worries.
Please stop feeling embarrassed. You should feel proud of yourself...proud to have the self-knowledge to realize you'd started down a path that didn't feel right for you and your family. Your self-worth shouldn't be predicated on external markers of worldly success. Are you now in a position to be a better father? A better husband? To build a better marriage and partnership with your wife? All of those things are worth way way more than being a college professor or having letters hanging off your name.
I too am a PhD program dropout, and I work with college professors every day. Trust me when I say, you'll do just fine without the terminal degree.
Good luck with finding a meaningful, rewarding job. Note that I did not mention money, as so many of us do not find it a reliable measure of happiness.
Posted on 8/15/16 at 10:57 am to StringedInstruments
Why the hell are you embarrassed about it? Dude, you've done fine. In 5 years you'll be laughing you got depressed and embarrassed about all this. Worry about your kids and wife, assuming you have kids. Get a job you'll enjoy and live stress free. Or at least, a less stressful life, that's all small shite man. Grand scheme of things none of your situation is a big deal.
ETA: Damnit hungryone, he said his message a lot better than mine.
ETA 2: You clearly said you have a son
ETA: Damnit hungryone, he said his message a lot better than mine.
ETA 2: You clearly said you have a son
This post was edited on 8/15/16 at 11:01 am
Posted on 8/15/16 at 11:15 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
I haven't pursued employment 100% just yet mainly because my wife got a job so quickly
You need to fix this. Get a job. Any job. And provide balance and stability for your wife.
Posted on 8/15/16 at 11:36 am to StringedInstruments
No need for embarrassment. You are getting it right in the end. That's what is important.
Is sub teaching an option? I know the pay generally sucks, but since you have experience, perhaps you can get a long-term sub gig or at least be at the top of the list they call every day? It will keep you in the schools and keep you top of mind in case a mid-year vacancy opens up.
Is sub teaching an option? I know the pay generally sucks, but since you have experience, perhaps you can get a long-term sub gig or at least be at the top of the list they call every day? It will keep you in the schools and keep you top of mind in case a mid-year vacancy opens up.
Posted on 8/15/16 at 11:40 am to StringedInstruments
Why give up on future college professor?
You just gave up on future college professor with large financial debt, now look into affordable local paths to the degree you need that also allows you to provide at the same time
You just gave up on future college professor with large financial debt, now look into affordable local paths to the degree you need that also allows you to provide at the same time
Posted on 8/15/16 at 2:18 pm to StringedInstruments
Hold that head high man....that's life. I've tried all kinds of career paths....acrrueing some debt along the way (more than you).
But I landed on a great career that pays really well and the sky is the limit. I look back on all that stuff and realize I wouldn't be here if not for it.
It'll come around for ya
But I landed on a great career that pays really well and the sky is the limit. I look back on all that stuff and realize I wouldn't be here if not for it.
It'll come around for ya
Posted on 8/15/16 at 2:28 pm to StringedInstruments
You never know what's around the corner - often things you never saw coming from a mile away. One of my best friends had a crazy career path. He quit school in 8th grade to become a rock star. Got to be in a pretty successful metal band touring the clubs across the south (just getting by and pouring all profits back into the band). Finally he gave up around age 27. Got a GED then enrolled in LSU. Graduated with plans to go to law school, but decided to work for a year first to pay off some debt. Fell into a job with a funeral home company and within a few years was making more than I was as a dentist. At his peak he was making around $300K - now he's back down to around $125. He took a circuitous route to success, and it was in a profession he never expected to be in by a long stretch. It did take major balls to call it quits and change paths like you did. Don't overlook any opportunities, just take it as it comes and you'll be fine.
Posted on 8/15/16 at 5:09 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
I feel horribly embarrassed going from future college professor
Your original thread stated you were looking at getting a Ph.D. in English education. As you're well aware that isn't the best paying job out there, and adjuncts make very little.
One never knows of course, but playing the odds it sounds like not racking up debt to pursue a degree that doesn't pay very well was the better choice.
I have to think there are lots of good-paying technical writing jobs in Birmingham. Every one of those hospitals is trying to publish how great they are, for example.
Maybe also look into ... you know, English education. I bet there is an ESL school or two in the area.
This post was edited on 8/15/16 at 5:12 pm
Posted on 8/15/16 at 6:23 pm to foshizzle
My wife's mom does a bunch of tutoring all over NOVA. I have no idea how she does but it's a start to earn some bucks.
Posted on 8/15/16 at 6:51 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
StringedInstruments
Hold your head high, bud. It took serious courage to listen to your gut.
Life is an adventure. No matter what you end up doing, this experience will make you better for it.
Good luck to you.
Posted on 8/15/16 at 8:10 pm to StringedInstruments
You will be fine man, best of luck to you. Followed your other thread and happy to see you got some resolution. You did what you thought was best for your family.
Posted on 8/15/16 at 9:19 pm to StringedInstruments
Congrats on the big decision. Probably the worst thing you could have done is gone into it half-committed and dropped out later. You may look back and swear that this is the best choice you ever made. It's all a matter of perspective and making the most of your opportunities.
This financial "near-death" experience could be a catalyst for you. Living with the parents is a big start, letting you focus on paying down debt and boosting monthly cash flow. The income piece will be important too, but it's amazing what people can accomplish financially by pinching pennies and becoming debt-free. It can also be great bonding and sense of accomplishment for you and your wife. Then once the income piece falls into place, you have a solid balance sheet and strong financial habits.
This board is pretty good too. I have been perusing it since it started (10+ years?) and have learned a lot from the back and forth that goes on.
Best of luck!
This financial "near-death" experience could be a catalyst for you. Living with the parents is a big start, letting you focus on paying down debt and boosting monthly cash flow. The income piece will be important too, but it's amazing what people can accomplish financially by pinching pennies and becoming debt-free. It can also be great bonding and sense of accomplishment for you and your wife. Then once the income piece falls into place, you have a solid balance sheet and strong financial habits.
This board is pretty good too. I have been perusing it since it started (10+ years?) and have learned a lot from the back and forth that goes on.
Best of luck!
This post was edited on 8/15/16 at 9:23 pm
Posted on 8/15/16 at 9:25 pm to foshizzle
I'll also note that it sounds like you're really just getting started, and that's fine. It sure as hell was a confusing time for me too. But keep flailing around and you'll find a foothold, and then a career. It may not be what you'd planned on, it sure as hell wasn't for me. But I'm fine with it and think you will be too.
Posted on 8/16/16 at 4:18 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
I'm hoping this was the right decision. I feel horribly embarrassed going from future college professor to "please someone anyone give me a job," but the security we'll have very soon should help alleviate those worries.
It seemed kind of obvious from your original message that music is very important to you, and something you wanted to stay involved in, and it sounds like you're getting that to pay off for you (even if not much right now). Is it feasible for you to pursue that and commit completely to it?
Being happy is very underrated in today's society; don't be embarrassed by finding something to be happy about.
Posted on 8/16/16 at 11:21 pm to StringedInstruments
I dropped out of a top ten law school and was temping the past year and a half before moving to a new city. It hurts to think about the could haves, but I know I couldn't have handled the stress and pressure. I literally would have been killed by panic attacks at some point.
This post was edited on 8/16/16 at 11:23 pm
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