- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: How should I handle this situation figuring out my Dad used my birth money?
Posted on 5/23/16 at 3:05 pm to LSUFanHouston
Posted on 5/23/16 at 3:05 pm to LSUFanHouston
quote:
I'm sure paying for all college and expenses, paying for a car, etc, far exceeds the value of any investment.
Absolutely.
0
Posted on 5/23/16 at 3:16 pm to LSUFanHouston
quote:
So, do you think we are stealing?
if you tell them you are doing it, its not stealing.
quote:
I'm sure paying for all college and expenses, paying for a car, etc, far exceeds the value of any investment.
Honestly that isn't the point. The point is taking something that isn't yours. The OP sounds like he got a pretty good deal at life, but that doesn't mean that its ok for a father to raid his savings account.
Just b.c you do some wonderful things as a parent, or do the things that are expected of you, doesn't give you license to take your kid's savings.
Posted on 5/23/16 at 3:41 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
if you tell them you are doing it, its not stealing.
So it's the lack of a conversation that you are hung up on, not the actual use of the money?
Maybe dad is just a crappy communicator. And I agree, in a perfect world, yeah, dad should have told the kid what was happening.
But in a "net" sense, the dad has give the kid far, far more than he has taken from the kid. So in a way, as I posted earlier, the kid basically shared in some of his own expenses (although he didn't realize it).
To me, stealing is what happened to a friend of mine, who moved out of home at age 18, parents did not pay for anything after high school, and dad opened up a bunch of credit cards in kids name and used the cards to feed a gambling addiction. Never paid the cards either, so the kids credit was trashed, and he had to face the decision of calling it fraud, and basically be called to testify against dad, or doing nothing and having to rebuild his credit.
That's stealing. What the OP has described is a far, far way away from that.
Posted on 5/23/16 at 3:56 pm to Fat Bastard
Even though I think this is a troll thread... being that Junior CandyAss has no job (or income), he's probably shacked up, RENT FREE, in his dad's house right now. That's why he's so shy about how to ask for "his money".
I bet that patriarchal, monster of a father is making him wake up before noon and send out resumes. After a hard night of beer drinking and playing video games, I personally think that's asking too much. And if he tells us that his abusive father is threatening to ask for rent if he's not employed and out of the house by the end of summer, I think that one of us should call social services... or Oprah.
Poor widdle fellow. All he wants is some justice, sympathy... and a safe space.
I bet that patriarchal, monster of a father is making him wake up before noon and send out resumes. After a hard night of beer drinking and playing video games, I personally think that's asking too much. And if he tells us that his abusive father is threatening to ask for rent if he's not employed and out of the house by the end of summer, I think that one of us should call social services... or Oprah.
Poor widdle fellow. All he wants is some justice, sympathy... and a safe space.
Posted on 5/23/16 at 3:57 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
Just b.c you do some wonderful things as a parent, or do the things that are expected of you, doesn't give you license to take your kid's savings.
I'm feeling old as dirt as I read this thread (and I'm really not, chronologically speaking). In my view, a kid doesn't have separate possessions. Everything belongs to the parents...yes, even those gifts. If OP's pops needed the money to pay for (whatever; family expenses, son's expenses), he's well within his legal rights to use his son's savings. Who knows what sort of circumstances existed in this family to send pops into his son's birthday money? Life is long & complicated, and his father used the funds as he saw fit at the time.
It is beyond petty to call a parent's use of a kid's savings as "theft". I can see that many of you did not grow up in a household where kids' earnings (however meager) were turned over to mom or dad to help pay the household bills. A family is a group enterprise, and at times, one individual's capital can be needed to benefit the whole.
If anyone is at fault, it is the judgey-uncle who planted this seed of "if your dad had invested, you'd have $XX". He's just trying to stir up shite. That's the guy I would scratch from the Christmas card list. So dad made different choices--he's not a criminal, nor does it sounds like the OP was economically neglected. If Uncle Superior really wanted OP to have investments, he could have bought the stocks/mutual fund shares himself and gifted them to the child, rather than simply turning over cash.
Posted on 5/23/16 at 4:02 pm to LSUFanHouston
quote:
So it's the lack of a conversation that you are hung up on, not the actual use of the money?
I would be concerned with both the use of the money and the conversation. In your case, I think its the conversation that matters since you are using the money on the child.
quote:
But in a "net" sense, the dad has give the kid far, far more than he has taken from the kid.
The dad has a job to provide for the child. he made that commitment when he had the child. Fulfilling that commitment is just that, it doesn't give you license to take what you want.
quote:
To me, stealing is what happened to a friend of mine, who moved out of home at age 18, parents did not pay for anything after high school, and dad opened up a bunch of credit cards in kids name and used the cards to feed a gambling addiction. Never paid the cards either, so the kids credit was trashed, and he had to face the decision of calling it fraud, and basically be called to testify against dad, or doing nothing and having to rebuild his credit.
this being stealing doesn't preclude that from being stealing too.
We don't know all the details on the OP situation. But from what I see, especially when he said he wasn't surprised that his dad did it means that his father stole from him and is likely a horrible person. But it doesn't mean every instance of the parent taking the child's money is stealing.
Posted on 5/23/16 at 4:07 pm to hungryone
quote:
he's well within his legal rights to use his son's savings.
absolutely. But that doesn't mean its not theft. It just means its legal.
quote:
It is beyond petty to call a parent's use of a kid's savings as "theft".
well we are missing a lot of details here. what was the money used for? And how? I will say that what the OP wrote makes me think its theft. its money that the child earned or given that was used for who knows what?
I can tell you that I would be pretty pissed at my sister if she raided the account I set up for my nephew's college to pay for something else.
And I do agree if the uncle thought the father was a dirtbag, he should have protected the assets himself. We did that with the nieces on my wife's side, where we do know the father is a bit of a dirtbag.
Posted on 5/23/16 at 4:20 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
The dad has a job to provide for the child. he made that commitment when he had the child. Fulfilling that commitment is just that, it doesn't give you license to take what you want.
Since when did it become a father's JOB to pay hospital bills, buy cars and pay for college for an ADULT child?
Although I might agree that a more complete explanation MIGHT have been offered to Junior, the only thing that I'd really criticize this father for is putting another whiny, entitled, talking baby into society.
Posted on 5/23/16 at 4:37 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
The dad has a job to provide for the child. he made that commitment when he had the child. Fulfilling that commitment is just that, it doesn't give you license to take what you want.
I would say that requirement/commitment ends when the kid turns 18. And it certainly doesn't require college, a car, etc.
Posted on 5/23/16 at 4:59 pm to LSUFanHouston
I love when someone posts something ridiculous and abandons the thread completely after 4 pages of getting hammered. 
Posted on 5/23/16 at 7:26 pm to hungryone
quote:Barring disastrous unforeseen health issues or extreme financial ruin from something out of the parents control, parents that have children without being able to provide basic necessities for their family without siphoning the children's birthday money are almost certainly devoid of decent decision-making abilities.
I'm feeling old as dirt as I read this thread (and I'm really not, chronologically speaking). In my view, a kid doesn't have separate possessions. Everything belongs to the parents...yes, even those gifts. If OP's pops needed the money to pay for (whatever; family expenses, son's expenses), he's well within his legal rights to use his son's savings. Who knows what sort of circumstances existed in this family to send pops into his son's birthday money? Life is long & complicated, and his father used the funds as he saw fit at the time.
It is beyond petty to call a parent's use of a kid's savings as "theft". I can see that many of you did not grow up in a household where kids' earnings (however meager) were turned over to mom or dad to help pay the household bills. A family is a group enterprise, and at times, one individual's capital can be needed to benefit the whole.
If anyone is at fault, it is the judgey-uncle who planted this seed of "if your dad had invested, you'd have $XX". He's just trying to stir up shite. That's the guy I would scratch from the Christmas card list. So dad made different choices--he's not a criminal, nor does it sounds like the OP was economically neglected. If Uncle Superior really wanted OP to have investments, he could have bought the stocks/mutual fund shares himself and gifted them to the child, rather than simply turning over cash.
Not particularly relevant to the thread as it doesn't fit OP's circumstances, but I don't agree with your post.
This post was edited on 5/23/16 at 7:46 pm
Posted on 5/24/16 at 5:44 am to LSUFanHouston
quote:
I would say that requirement/commitment ends when the kid turns 18. And it certainly doesn't require college, a car, etc.
It doesn't, but if they decide to, it's pretty crappy to expect them to owe you, at least without the discussion. My parents covered my credit card until I graduated. I was left with 4k in CC debt right away when I got a job. I don't hold that against them or anything. I was forced to pay for my fraternity dues out of savings at first (they eventually realized living in the house was cheaper than my apartment) because they didn't think it was necessary. I get that. I never EXPECTED anything financially from them, but was lucky enough to get it. If I found out after the fact that they raided all my investments, savings bonds, etc. to do so, I'd be pissed. Anyone saying any differently in this thread is a liar. Is it worth not speaking to them, no (unless there are other circumstances). Do I imagine I'd ever get anything from them or deserve it....no. But that has no bearing on the fact that what they did was not the right way to do it. Tell me upfront what the situation is. Like you all said, you are an adult by that time, you're parents should treat you like one and keep you informed of your financial situation. I can't think of a single good reason why a parent wouldn't tell you they had to dip into your money. So therefore, it's hard to see how it's done with good intent.
I see a lot of people trying to flex how financially responsible and independent they are in this thread. But any way you slice it, somethings fishy if a parent is spending your money without telling you. Even if it is for you. For the example of Disney trips, I'm sure you told your kids you were using their money and they likely took pride in it. They learned a lesson about value and independence. Absolutely nothing wrong with that and actually a good thing. But telling your kid you'll buy them a car then drain their own account to do so is shitty. Now forcing them to buy their own isn't bad, but you are setting them up under false pretenses any other way and it's dishonest. Being dishonest is not the greatest parenting style IMHO.
Posted on 5/24/16 at 7:49 am to KG6
quote:
I never EXPECTED anything financially from them, but was lucky enough to get it. If I found out after the fact that they raided all my investments, savings bonds, etc. to do so, I'd be pissed. Anyone saying any differently in this thread is a liar.
Nope. If my parents would have supported me through school to a point that my expenses exceeded my savings, then not only would I not be pissed, I'd have been grateful. If we were talking large figures, then it should've absolutely been discussed, but we're not in this situation.
I do agree with you though that when the savings gets tapped, it should be discussed, but if it isn't discussed, you really don't have a leg to stand on to be upset if your financial support was exceeding your savings. You came out ahead.....I'd give my dad a hug and thank him and tell him I understood and I appreciated all of his help to get me where I was.
Posted on 5/24/16 at 9:01 am to LSUAfro
quote:
Nope. If my parents would have supported me through school to a point that my expenses exceeded my savings, then not only would I not be pissed, I'd have been grateful
I completely understand you feeling that it's not your parents responsibility to pay for your school, and that if they used the money you saved, then ultimately paid the extra, you'd be grateful. But you are 18 years old in college, why would you not be paying your fee bill yourself if you had the savings and it was known that you had to pay your own way? Going into graduation thinking you have a savings to maybe put up first months rent on an apartment only to find out your parents have been using that money on you without your consideration is a terrible situation to be left in. Now I'm not saying it's a point that I'm going to fight with them. I'm not going to submit a bill. But I'm also not going to pretend like I'm going to write them a thank you card either (for using my money, I've thanked my parents for college before in general). I'm probably going to be a little irritated. Not that I deserved for them to pay for everything with their money. But that they should have let me know what was going on. Like I said, I cannot think of a single good reason why a parent would not keep their kids updated. Maybe super young kids since they don't have a great concept of money. But by the time you can hold a job, they should be up front with you. Anything else seems crappy to me.
Posted on 5/24/16 at 10:38 am to Jag_Warrior
quote:
I bet that patriarchal, monster of a father is making him wake up before noon and send out resumes. After a hard night of beer drinking and playing video games, I personally think that's asking too much. And if he tells us that his abusive father is threatening to ask for rent if he's not employed and out of the house by the end of summer, I think that one of us should call social services... or Oprah.
Posted on 5/24/16 at 12:49 pm to Tamer of beasts
quote:
Tamer of beasts
Let me get this right. He bought you a car, paid for college expense, paid $10k for you being a dumbass, and you want HIM to give YOU money?
MIL-LEN-NIA-L, gotta love millennials.
Posted on 5/24/16 at 1:08 pm to Moustache
quote:
MIL-LEN-NIA-L, gotta love millennials.
No generation is free from frickery.
Posted on 5/24/16 at 1:21 pm to Tamer of beasts
I've never seen this many upvotes or down votes on the money board before. Seeing as how they're all down votes I recommend a career in comedy.. young whipper snapper.
Posted on 5/24/16 at 1:22 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
Or even said when he paid the hospital bill, hey you know what son, can I use the money you gave me to cover this? Then its not stealing IMHO. but if he didn't, its taking something that doesn't belong to you. And its theft IMHO.
This covers it. I'd never use money given to my on for my own expenses. Now, a 10K hospital bill caused by stupidity is another story. However, that should be handled up front and not in a shady manner.
Page 4 of 4
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News