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re: How should I handle this situation figuring out my Dad used my birth money?

Posted on 5/21/16 at 3:32 pm to
Posted by Jag_Warrior
Virginia
Member since May 2015
4086 posts
Posted on 5/21/16 at 3:32 pm to
quote:

Why would he not be entitled to money given to him?


Why didn't he pay his own bill when he got drunk and ran up a hospital bill? Sounds like he was in college (and above 18?) when that happened. Why didn't he buy his own car? Why didn't he put himself through college?

His dad has likely spent more on this irresponsible, unappreciative, ENTITLED man child (or woman child) than would ever be in any stock, apart from some lottery ticket high flyer. Assuming that this lame @ss story is even true, by his own admission, the money was given to his dad. Why would that be? I've been entrusted with money since I was 5. My dad made me a (very junior ) partner in his cattle business. He taught me to be responsible with money from a very early age. The only reason that I can see not to hand money directly to a 16-18 year old is because they're (obviously) too irresponsible to handle it.

But now, in all fairness, if the OP really thinks that he's been wronged, take it to small claims court. If he was my kid, I'd invite him to do just that. And he better hope to all the gods on Mount Olympus that he wins. Cause if'n he loses, he really is going to need a safe space.
Posted by Mr.Perfect
Louisiana
Member since Mar 2013
17438 posts
Posted on 5/21/16 at 7:20 pm to
quote:

ETA: To clarify, not laughing at you, but I'm imagining bringing a bill to my father for what he owes me, only to know he has a much much bigger one for me.




ONCE in my entire life did I ask my dad to pay me back. He had me loop by the store for him back in high school and I pulled out the receipt.... boy did that end quick. He was like Bubba listing shrimp cooking till I dropped it.

Posted by tiggerthetooth
Big Momma's House
Member since Oct 2010
61189 posts
Posted on 5/21/16 at 8:00 pm to
quote:

I also gave my dad $1,500 when I was 14 to invest in a stock.


Not hating...but how did you accumulate that much money at 14 years old? You saved up all the money your parents gave you over the years? You can't work...so how did you get so much money?
Posted by FriscoTiger
Frisco, TX
Member since Aug 2005
3485 posts
Posted on 5/21/16 at 9:34 pm to
Sounds like the only thing your dad hasn't done for you is kick your arse and that's the one thing you really need.
Posted by jcaz
Laffy
Member since Aug 2014
15601 posts
Posted on 5/21/16 at 9:47 pm to
What kind of 14 year old wants to invest over buying cool shite?
Posted by GFunk
Denham Springs
Member since Feb 2011
14966 posts
Posted on 5/21/16 at 10:50 pm to
Downvote 22 checking in here, y'all.
Posted by TheIndulger
Member since Sep 2011
19239 posts
Posted on 5/21/16 at 11:51 pm to
quote:

Sounds like the only thing your dad hasn't done for you is kick your arse and that's the one thing you really need.


Bunch a tough guys in this thread
Posted by foshizzle
Washington DC metro
Member since Mar 2008
40599 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 6:40 am to
It's kinda shitty that he didn't invest the money as instructed, consider that a lesson learned and don't entrust him with your money.

But this is really the only thing that matters here:

quote:

Considering he's paid for everything in my life
Posted by ynlvr
Rocket City
Member since Feb 2009
4587 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 8:04 am to
This whole thing reads better if you assume it was written by the Dad as a "teaching moment" for the heir apparent.

Either way, a good accounting of funds could serve as a better teaching moment. Absent any form of accounting or purposeful spending of "earmarked" money will most always be fraught with feelings of betrayal or being screwed.
Posted by Fat Bastard
coach, investor, gambler
Member since Mar 2009
72615 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 9:41 am to
quote:

Downvote 22 checking in here, y'all.




G man with an upvote.
Posted by hungryone
river parishes
Member since Sep 2010
11987 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 11:02 am to
at no point in your previous 22 years did you ask your dad about this supposed investment on your behalf? then this supposed gift was long ago used on your upkeep....medical care, car insurance, books, living expenses, Internet access, whatever. You can ask dad, sure.....but be prepared to find out stuff you don't want to know. Like that dads in debt up to his eyeballs while paying for your lifestyle bc he doesn't want to lose face, or he's got a secret video poker habit, or a second family, or he has zero retire,net savings and has been counting on YOU to support him just as soon as you get your big time engineering job. Lolz.
Posted by abitabrewed4LSU
Houston, TX
Member since Feb 2009
1078 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 11:04 am to
What are you talking about?
Posted by KG6
Member since Aug 2009
10920 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 12:26 pm to
I feel this is a little bit whiny on the OP's part, but at the same time, if any person in this thread saved let's say 5k while working in high school and college, the one day realized their parents just went ahead and commandeered it, they'd be just as pissy. No one thinks about how much their parents did for them in that situation.

And where do you draw the line. I know of friends who's parents opened credit cards in their name and ruined their credit and left them with debt. Is that just dandy because their parents paid for them while raising them? My wife's mother used to skim money off of the top of her student loan checks and checks from work (she had to send them home to a local bank). Is that just okay now that we are still paying off her 100k student loan debt?

I realize parents pay for a lot, but even as a parent I don't see that spending as anything other than money I'd never remotely expect back. My son has an account my parents put money on monthly. That's HIS money to me.
Posted by abitabrewed4LSU
Houston, TX
Member since Feb 2009
1078 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 12:58 pm to
None of that is what OP decribed. If anything the OP's parent sounds like a responsible person. Heaven forbid OP's dad uses his own judgement on how to use the money and not listen to the uncle.

Let's not forget OP wants his $10,000 but if he weren't fighting in Tigerland, his dad may have an extra $10,000 to give. Call it a wash.
Posted by tiger91
In my own little world
Member since Nov 2005
36704 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 1:22 pm to
quote:

I realize parents pay for a lot, but even as a parent I don't see that spending as anything other than money I'd never remotely expect back. My son has an account my parents put money on monthly. That's HIS money to me.



I'm the parent of 3 ... one ready to graduate grad school, one graduating high school tomorrow and one about to be a sophomore in hs.

Any money that they received for birthday/Christmas/graduation is THEIRS in my eyes and we'd never use it "against" anything that we've spent on them. Just my .02 but I do indeed see it as THEIR money.
Posted by crazycubes
Member since Jan 2016
5256 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 1:37 pm to
Maybe zero.


quote:

He also had a hefty $10,000 hospital bill when I was drunk and cracked my skull in a fight in tigerland


Definitely zero!
Posted by Walking the Earth
Member since Feb 2013
17260 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 1:48 pm to
quote:

cracked my skull in a fight in tigerland


quote:

what would be a fair amount to ask for him to give to me to invest?


Tell him to "invest" in giving you some boxing lessons.

Posted by Fat Bastard
coach, investor, gambler
Member since Mar 2009
72615 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 2:23 pm to
quote:

None of that is what OP decribed.


no shite, was about to post that. reading comprehension isn't the best in some.
Posted by KG6
Member since Aug 2009
10920 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 2:40 pm to
It was more of a where is the line. If people give you money, when is it yours, and when is it your parents right to do as they wish with it since they paid to raise you? Obviously it sounds like the OP had some responsibilities he should have covered in his adult life. But if you had money you asked your parents to invest, you'd walk away with a smile on your face when they say "yeah.......I did what I wanted with that money". Or if you had all this birthday or graduation money and come to find out, that's gone because dad spent it. I know the stuff I said is "worse". But the way you are all treating the OP's situation off the cuff is not exactly how I look at it though. Like I said, there are things he maybe should have had some responsibility for, but I would think my parents would come to me and say "hey, you have savings, this is your f**k up, you should pay for it". Shouldn't randomly find out about it.
Posted by barry
Location, Location, Location
Member since Aug 2006
50341 posts
Posted on 5/22/16 at 3:25 pm to
He's your dad, how about you sit down and ask him where the money is like a man.
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