Octopussy

quote:

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That gentlemen is how you store an alter for a rainy day.

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suck my titties

Never, have I ever, witnessed anything as horrid and dispicable as the conduct of New Orleans Saints fans...and worse...the team itself that I was subjected two Sunday afternoon. I have been traveling to Vikings away games for a long time (in fact I have traveled to EVERY road game on my private Gulfstream jet for the last 67 years) and have never witnessed anything so disgraceful. On arriving at my beautiful Minnesota home 30 minutes after the game, I sat down and began to pen this account of the horrors.

It started on the first play from scrimmage. The Vikings offensive line, trying to be graceful guests, reached out to hug every one of the New Orleans defenders immediately at the snap of the ball. However, immediately revealing their crass dispositions, the Saints Defenders ignored the Vikings outstretched arms and attempted to bully our beloved patriarch, the venerable Brent Farv, by pushing him to the ground. (this happened on several occasions). Saints apologists have given me the excuse that they were just trying to get Brent's autograph (which would be understandable) but I doubt that was the case because noone even had a pen or paper.

Worse yet, when New Orleans had possession and Drew Breeze was in the game, the Vikings players similarly tried to approach him to extend their gratitude for the Saints hosting such an important football contest. However, the Saints players were having none of it. Several bullies kept the Vikings from getting anywhere close to Drew Breeze...and offered no hugs. After each play, you could see how dejected the Vikings were that they did not get to meet Mr. Breeze. (It's no wonder they lost, seeing how demoralizing this was). I have lost all respect for Mr. Breeze for surrounding himself with such an entourage of ruffians and am somewhat disappointed because he always seemed so approachable.

As the game wore on, the Saints demonstrated that they were not only poor hosts...they were also thieves. On a number of occasions, Vikings players placed their football on the floor so that they could concentrate on running faster and beating the Saints to the end line. Despite clearly seeing that it was the Vikings that put the ball on the ground, a number of Saints players throughout the game would pick up the football and STEAL IT, running the other way. I guess they thought noone was watching...but oh, were they wrong. (Kudos to the camera operators for picking up what was going on and getting everything on videotape for the imminent criminal proceedings). On several other occasions, the Saints went so far as to knock the ball out of the Vikings' hands before stealing it (how juvenile and unsportsmanlike!) The schoolyard bully behavior did not end there!! A few times, when Brent and his friends were playing toss, Saints players would snatch the ball out of the air and run away with it, thus depriving the Vikings of a chance to practice their sport.

I was so distraught and tormented by fans, who would cheer and jeer everytime one of the Saints would cause a skirmish by wrestling one of the Vikings to the ground, that I had to leave the game in the 6th inning with the score nil-nil. As I arrived at the New Orleans downtown airport a few minutes later, I was relieved that I had made it to safety.

Sincerely,

Adrian Allen