Papillon

And no, it’s not because they “lost their minds”
or suddenly became selfish
or got corrupted by TikTok therapists.

The data is uncomfortable, but it’s real.

Menopause isn’t just hot flashes and mood swings.
It’s a massive neurological and hormonal shift.

Estrogen drops.
Oxytocin drops.
The hormones that help women tolerate stress, smooth conflict, and override discomfort go away.

What disappears with them?

Patience.
Fawning.
Self-abandonment.
The ability to keep absorbing emotional instability and call it love.

Here’s the part most men don’t want to hear.

For decades, many women have been holding the emotional load of the relationship.
Regulating for both people.
Softening everything.
Making it work.

Menopause doesn’t create dissatisfaction.
It removes the buffer that was hiding it.

So when a woman hits this phase and looks around and thinks:
“I’m tired.”
“I’m done managing this.”
“I can’t keep carrying both of us.”

She’s not changing.
She’s no longer numbing herself.

And if her partner has never learned how to regulate, contain, or lead emotionally, the contrast becomes unbearable.

This is why you see:
“I just fell out of love”
“I need to find myself”
“I can’t do this anymore”

What she’s really saying is:

“I no longer have the biology to survive an uncontained relationship.”

Menopause is a truth serum.

If the relationship is grounded, safe, regulated, it often deepens.
If it’s chaotic, reactive, or dependent on her emotional labor, it collapses.

This isn’t about blaming women.
And it’s not about shaming men.

It’s a warning.

If your relationship only works because she is absorbing the instability,
biology will eventually collect the bill.

Masculine leadership isn’t about control.
It’s about regulation.

The men who survive this chapter don’t get louder.
They get steadier.

And that makes all the difference.

Here’s the part nobody wants to say out loud:

Many marriages don’t survive menopause because the woman finally runs out of hormones that were compensating for a man who never learned how to regulate.

That’s not an insult.
It’s biology.

Agree or disagree?

Let’s hear it.