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Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden News
Posted on 10/16/20 at 1:40 pm
Posted on 10/16/20 at 1:40 pm
The Babylon Bee is always right on the line between reality and satire, but never more so than in this article because, of course, twitter DID go down for awhile the day the NY Post broke their Biden/Burisma story.
Babylon Bee
quote:
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—In a last-ditch effort to stop negative stories about Joe Biden and his family from spreading, Twitter shut down its entire social network Thursday.
After seeing account after account tweet out one particularly bad story, CEO Jack Dorsey realized he had to take action. Dorsey smashed a glass box in his office reading "Break In Case Of Bad Publicity For Democrats." Inside the case was a sledgehammer for smashing Twitter's servers.
"Red alert -- shut the servers down! Shut them all down!"
Dorsey ran downstairs and started smashing as many computers as he could, but he did need to ask for some help, as the hammer was pretty heavy. None of the programmers could lift the hammer, either. Eventually, they managed to program a robot to pick up the sledgehammer and smash the servers.
After hearing the Twitter employees talk about critical theory, the robot got woke and began attacking all the cis white males.
Babylon Bee
This post was edited on 10/16/20 at 1:41 pm
5
Posted on 10/16/20 at 1:41 pm to Frank Black
except it was real 
Posted on 10/16/20 at 1:42 pm to Frank Black
The Babylon Bee is more truthful than the mainstream media
Posted on 10/16/20 at 1:42 pm to Frank Black
quote:
Dorsey ran downstairs and started smashing as many computers as he could, but he did need to ask for some help, as the hammer was pretty heavy. None of the programmers could lift the hammer, either.
Posted on 10/16/20 at 1:43 pm to Frank Black
That is exactly what they did...
Posted on 10/16/20 at 1:45 pm to Frank Black
quote:
Dorsey ran downstairs and started smashing as many computers as he could, but he did need to ask for some help, as the hammer was pretty heavy. None of the programmers could lift the hammer, either. Eventually, they managed to program a robot to pick up the sledgehammer and smash the servers.
After hearing the Twitter employees talk about critical theory, the robot got woke and began attacking all the cis white males.
Ok, that's it. I've realized that my dream job is to be a writer for this website. Posted on 10/16/20 at 2:46 pm to LSURulzSEC
quote:Yes. They always write in a blurry area of reality meets absurdity, but in this case it's an absurdity that actually happened.
That is exactly what they did...
Posted on 10/16/20 at 2:55 pm to Frank Black
This is a fake and satirical website EXCEPT THIS TIME!
Oh boy. Can’t wait for y’all to start quoting the onion next
Oh boy. Can’t wait for y’all to start quoting the onion next
This post was edited on 10/16/20 at 2:56 pm
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