re: The foster care system is broken

We had a foster kid from birth. We had real time info on how the mother was still screwing up because we had constant contact with the grandmother. The grandmother had adopted the other 3 grandkids by this mother and simply couldn’t take anymore on. They all suffered varying effects of the mom using meth during pregnancies. We also knew through the case worker that she was refusing to “work the plan”, and I mean making no effort at all, for moths upon months. DFCS started telling us parental rights were about to be terminated. One day DFCS finally tells us the TPR order has been drawn up and will be signed by a judge that week. The next call we get from DFCS was the judge had ordered supervised visitation on the weekends for a month, and then the child could start spending weekends with the parents for a month, and then go back. It broke our hearts. The parents were both strung out on meth and living in a trailer with holes in the floor in the worse MHP in our town. It’s been over 4 years and my wife still cries when we drive by the road leading to that trailer park.

I remember that conversation, it is mind blowing how quickly things have changed in our situation.

quote:

---

frick off dude. As you can see, there are plenty of people that want to raise these children.

---

Apparently not jackass. As crackhead mama is raising that baby right now. If it lives to adulthood(IF) i bet it's a huge contributor to society.

quote:

---

It’s been over 4 years and my wife still cries when we drive by the road leading to that trailer park.

---

I know money and a nice house are no reason for taking kids away from their bio parents, but I pass by the place the bio Mom is living every day on my way to work, it's a run down shack. And not only that, the Mother and three kids will all be living in the windowless attic. I'm by no means a rich man, but to know where the kids are now, and knowing where they are going, it just seems cruel.

We are long time foster parents. You are right, the system is broken. Get an attorney, intervene as a party in the case as soon as you are able. Missouri may be six months of having them. You will not regret spending the money for an attorney to protect the children that you love.

quote:

---

foster family is caring for

---

OP isn't, did you even read his post?

The 1st time we closed our home was over a young girl named Skylar. She was placed when she was in an ER with anal tears. She was under 2 years old. She was terrified of all males and it took over a year before she began returning to a “normal” life. The state of GA investigation determined that the mom’s boyfriends story that she fell on furniture was likely a lie(no shite) and he left the state before an investigation could be completed.

We grew attached to Skylar and she blossomed with us. At 5 years old her bio mom completed her plan, stayed clean 3 months and agreed to to see the boyfriend again. Over the objections of the cause worker, the lawyer and us she was returned to her bio mom. The mom moved to Alabama to to be with the boyfriend and was outside the jurisdiction of the GA family courts. We were more than willing to adopt her. She cried and had seizures when she visited her bio mom. I’m pretty sure she’s dead now. We coded our home and took a year to reconsider what we were doing.

We got a call about another 18 month old that was looking at long term care that we adopted. For years we would take in short or long time care for females age 2-18 that were victims of sexual or physical abuse. We only adopted the 1. We stayed in touch with many and still keep a room in our house that occasionally gets used by them. But we no longer foster. We do respite only now (days or a couple weeks) when kids or parents need a break. Right now we have an 11 year old that’s staying 2 weeks. She wants to move in with us and we might open up again for her. Her parents are in jail in California and will never be eligible for adoption.

It is certainly common sense. These kids have no relationship with the newborn and have been in the system for two years. Common sense would dictate that you don't remove these two from a healthy loving home where they are actually thriving to move them back in with the bio Mom who is only one month clean and sober simply because that is the policy. The rest of your statement is gibberish and nonsensical, do you think we make money taking on these kids? Sure we get a little bit but it doesn't come close to covering the cost of raising a child. The average cost of raising a child annually is around $14k, we get around $4k year for each child. And the cost of fostering is becoming even more costly as the price of gas goes up because we have to take the kids to numerous appointments and visitations. The state covers part of that but even when gas was cheap it didn't cover the cost. You don't get rich being a foster family.

quote:

---

OP isn't, did you even read his post?

---

Yes I read the entire post.

But what is your post to me about?

I referred to the OP as someone who tries to raise kids that the poster I responded to said "that's what abortions are for"

Who did I supposedly offend?

I'm sorry OP if I offended you by assuming you are a good person for taking in and caring for foster children.

To the one I responded to about the abortion comment, I don't care if I offended you.

And finally to the person I'm responding to with this post: if I offended you, he, she, they, them, it,. Still wondering what your question is

quote:

---

I referred to the OP as someone who tries to raise kids

---

Nope

quote:

---

is caring for

---

It's funny, i criticize you for not reading the original post, and you reply by not even reading your own post. Do you have dementia like Biden?