People who use e-cigs are douchebags

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1) You didn’t quit smoking a-hole, you are basically still smoking. Stop telling us your “quit date,” you basically are a cheater. You still puff nicotine, I’d sure F’ing hope you could “quit” cigs. These are like those boozers who say “I quit drinking” only to find out they still drink wine because that somehow doesn’t count.

2) No one gives three shits about your clouds. Clouds are for the sky. Clouds are not for my coffee shop. Clouds in my coffee shop usually signifies some shite is burning down. And that’s never good. No one but you is impressed by your clouds. Are cam girls impressed by your cocksize also? Oh man, you must have the life!

3) Stop saying “mod.” Its F’ing dumb. None of us even know what that means. Just say “battery.” Its a battery a-hole. That’s all. I may start calling my watch battery my “time empower” now just to be a stupid a-hole.

4) If your vape shite taste like candy, you are a creepy shithead. If it taste like milk, you are disgusting. If you tell other people what it taste like, I hate you.

5) Stop pissing on smokers. Cigs are good. Some of you have become the Jehova’s Witnesses of addictions knocking on everyone’s door. Just stay out of regular smoking sections.

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