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Posted on 2/12/14 at 11:35 am to Geauxld Finger
quote:
so she shits herself, leaves shitty leggings sitting out knowing you might go to the bathroom. Oh and first date with the chick, you are back in her apt, taking a dump at her place?
bullshite
Posted on 2/12/14 at 11:45 am to TheCaterpillar
regardless, the cheeto story wins
Posted on 2/12/14 at 11:45 am to crimsonsaint
quote:
Why would she leave them out in the open for you to see?
In all fairness, she probably wasn't expecting some low-rent chump shitting at her apartment after the first date.
Posted on 2/12/14 at 11:46 am to CadesCove
why yall gotta hate, yall know when you gotta go you gotta go.
Posted on 2/12/14 at 11:49 am to HeavyCore
um what? are you serious.
Posted on 2/12/14 at 11:52 am to JBleezy
Damnit this post has me lol'ing in a waiting room 
Posted on 2/12/14 at 12:05 pm to Coater
Not a date story, but I was out in the FQ a few years ago and met this girl and go back to her FQ apartment.
Next morning, I wake up and have to take an undeniable shite. I figure, if I go fast enough, she'll think I just peed and the smell would disappear quickly.
In any event, it was terribly foul, but when I go for the door, I get locked in (stupid old French Quarter doors). I didn't want to scream because she'd get hit with the stench when the door opened.
My plan was to start dumping soap in the sink and shampoo and stuff in the bathtub to freshen the place up before she came looking for me.
She finally came looking and got me out. Not sure she bought my story with all the lavender in the air.
Next morning, I wake up and have to take an undeniable shite. I figure, if I go fast enough, she'll think I just peed and the smell would disappear quickly.
In any event, it was terribly foul, but when I go for the door, I get locked in (stupid old French Quarter doors). I didn't want to scream because she'd get hit with the stench when the door opened.
My plan was to start dumping soap in the sink and shampoo and stuff in the bathtub to freshen the place up before she came looking for me.
She finally came looking and got me out. Not sure she bought my story with all the lavender in the air.
Posted on 2/12/14 at 12:12 pm to Teddy Ruxpin
I'll share another one.
Take a girl on a nice date and it goes fine. A few days later I'm again out in the French Quarter at a bar and run into her. We get drunk and go to my place. Drop her off, no big deal.
Well, a couple days later my English Bulldog starts acting all lethargic. Can't hold down food or anything. Looks real pathetic.
I take him to the vet, and they say there is some blockage on the x-ray and they are going to have to do surgery or he'll die. OK, I can't let the poor guy die.
So, I get the phone call after the surgery and they tell me over the phone some "thread" was the culprit. I get to the vet, and they lead me to the back. It's a trap.
There, on the operating dish, is a pair of women's black lace panties. frick me.
The Dr. tries to give me an out, suggesting a female roommate or something. I'm so stupid I blurt out some half chauvinistic sounding "We're all single dudes."
I get a disapproving look and a $1,500 bill. Fun.
Never did go on another date with the girl, even though she wanted to.
Take a girl on a nice date and it goes fine. A few days later I'm again out in the French Quarter at a bar and run into her. We get drunk and go to my place. Drop her off, no big deal.
Well, a couple days later my English Bulldog starts acting all lethargic. Can't hold down food or anything. Looks real pathetic.
I take him to the vet, and they say there is some blockage on the x-ray and they are going to have to do surgery or he'll die. OK, I can't let the poor guy die.
So, I get the phone call after the surgery and they tell me over the phone some "thread" was the culprit. I get to the vet, and they lead me to the back. It's a trap.
There, on the operating dish, is a pair of women's black lace panties. frick me.
The Dr. tries to give me an out, suggesting a female roommate or something. I'm so stupid I blurt out some half chauvinistic sounding "We're all single dudes."
I get a disapproving look and a $1,500 bill. Fun.
Never did go on another date with the girl, even though she wanted to.
This post was edited on 2/12/14 at 12:14 pm
Posted on 2/12/14 at 12:17 pm to Teddy Ruxpin
you didn't go out with her again b/c your dog ate her panties?
Posted on 2/12/14 at 12:20 pm to link
quote:
you didn't go out with her again b/c your dog ate her panties?
No not really. I was just fervently single, and while I would go on dates I never had much intention of going on multiple ones that could turn into a relationship. They have a tendency to do that/girls look for that after just a handful.
This post was edited on 2/12/14 at 12:21 pm
Posted on 2/12/14 at 12:23 pm to JBleezy
Clearly lying
Posted on 2/12/14 at 12:26 pm to JBleezy
If she shite herself she wouldn't have invited you in...you are a liar
Posted on 2/12/14 at 12:31 pm to Teddy Ruxpin
quote:
I was just fervently single
You were still living with your mom?
Posted on 2/12/14 at 12:37 pm to JBleezy
Quit being a panty waist. Tell her, "I shat myself, you shat yourself. Let's get in the shower together, then have some fresh sex."
Posted on 2/12/14 at 12:46 pm to JBleezy
quote:
JBleezy
Dates Gone Wrong
starting this thread because a buddy of mine set me up with a friend of his ole lady's and so the date starts off as usual just a dinner at The Chimes and everything is going great up until about when I was half way to her apartment to drop her off and I start to smell something horrid, like a septic tank has exploded. Trying to be a gentleman I keep my comments to myself. When we get to her apartment she invites me up and so when we get in she decides to go change so im just chillin on the couch watching TV and my stomach starts getting crazy, I go and take a dump and as im sitting there on the john I see her leggings she was wearing at dinner and I shite you not...I figure out what that smell in the car was..there was a shite stain in the leggings...lets just say I finished up my business and left.
yall got any good stories?
If by finish up your business you mean smash...then yes I believe you!
Posted on 2/12/14 at 12:48 pm to Wtodd
quote:
You were still living with your mom?
Wut?
Posted on 2/12/14 at 12:59 pm to JBleezy
quote:
my buddy's ole lady did say she ended up marrying a indian guy and moved to south Carolina a few yrs later
So wait, you've been holding onto this picture of shite stained leggings for YEARS??
Posted on 2/12/14 at 1:00 pm to Silky Johnston
I have a pc from like 03. still on there.
Posted on 2/12/14 at 1:05 pm to JBleezy
My question to the cheeto guy...did you finish the cheeto?
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