re: WICKED (2024) SUCKS!

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This movie might have ended a relationship.

Lady I've been dating has asked me since it came out to go see Wicked. I have politely declined. I read the book way back when. It was ok. Never cared to see the show. I'm good.

This week it comes out for streaming and we both have the day off. She asks, "Can we watch Wicked?" I have no easy way out of this, so I say, "Sure."

I've endured bad movies before. Hour and a half ... two hours? frick it. You can find something amusing about it and suffer in silence. Now, I am no musical hater. I was in theater from the age of 5-23. I love musicals. I was carrying the banner with the Newsies last Tuesday. But this thing.... this thing.

I have never watched a film and felt that 2.5 hours of my life was STOLEN from me until I saw this thing. I kept waiting for the good part. I knew there must be a good part because it made a BILLION dollars at the box office, but the first hour and a half were a lead up to frickING PROM! Two obviously 30+ year old women obsessed with fricking PROM. The music certainly defied gravity as there was absolutely no gravitas to anything I heard.

Ariana Grande looked like a fricking alien cosplaying as a preteen! The last 30 minutes or so were alright with Michelle Yeoh and Jeff Goldblum doing their thing, but I just couldn't be bothered to really give a shite.

This movie sucked. I guess the musical sucks. I liked the goat for his 9 minutes of screen time. Rarely does a movie evoke pure revulsion in me. I did not expect it to be this one. It was.

WICKED SUCKS!

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