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Message
re: What if it comes out that McQeery was a victim
Posted on 11/11/11 at 10:11 am to Hawgon
Posted on 11/11/11 at 10:11 am to Hawgon
quote:
Kids are pretty damned good at hiding things from their parents. It is pretty much what they do. Throw in parents with busy lives and add a pinch of "I don't even want to think about that sort of thing" and many, if not most, parents will be completely in the dark.
Thank G-d, I was never abused. It's so prevalent in our society, more so than we want to admit. Unlike a lot of people, I was in my kids' lives every day (something could have happened overseas, but their mom was a helicopter, so I didn't worry too much), and I was checking on emotional stability, checking on grades, checking on friends - not just for this issue, but for drugs, early sexual activity, alcohol and cigarettes...
Long story short, I'm confident I would have picked up on a trauma of this magnitude and figured it out. I'm definitely not placing the blame on the victim (which younger McQueary may very well have been) - but, the cycle continued as an adult - I have not been as judgmental of younger McQueary because I'm sympathetic to the entire situation - Sandusky might as well been his uncle (and now speculation he may have been his abuser - we don't know that yet). IF that happened, at the hands of Sandusky, who was a co-worker of the elder McQueary, elder McQueary has some share of responsibility. He was in a relatively unique position of being in the know.
And I'm more and more confident that everybody associated with PSU football, from the early to mid 80s on (at the latest) knew or had strong suspicions.
quote:
It's pretty obvious you don't have kids or else you are pretty clueless.
Go make assumptions about stuff you have some facts on which to base it. This is all speculation we're engaging in and if you wanted to say that, fine. I'm an attorney and former intelligence officer. I'm a student of human beings. However, my kids, when they were kids, were the absolute first priority in my life. A lot of people say that, but most don't live it.
1
Posted on 11/11/11 at 10:12 am to Hawgon
quote:
So, would you tell someone if you saw someone getting fricked in the arse?
Would you tell someone if you got fricked in the arse?
See the difference?
He gave a graphic account to the grand jury and admitted at being shocked and discussed by it. Seems like that would have been as good a time as any to talk about what happened to him.
You morons are really reaching on this one.
Posted on 11/11/11 at 10:14 am to parkjas2001
like i have said from the beginning....nothing would surprise me anymore
Posted on 11/11/11 at 10:26 am to Ace Midnight
quote:
Ace Midnight
I wouldn't make assumptions about your family, and I can relate to your description of how you and your wife were on top of your kids' lives. My wife and I were the same (or at least I like to think so--I know my wife was). Nevertheless, I also agree with the poster who said that kids are champs at keeping stuff under wraps, regardless of how much attention they are given or how comfortable they feel sharing with their parents. Some things, kids just don't talk about. One of our daughters played basketball in the local Boys' and Girls' Club league when she was in middle school (about 4th grade). One of the coaches was discovered to have been molesting kids. We knew nothing about it until we got a call from the town police. Our daughter was not a victim, but they wanted to warn us, and to let us know we should try to talk to her about it to see if she needed any counseling or if there was further information she might have that might be useful in putting the guy away and identifying other victims who might need help. Turns out she had heard about it from other kids, but getting her to talk about it was like pulling wisdom teeth. So, you should never assume your kids tell you everything, or that you can "pick up on it" from their behavior. Just isn't so.
This post was edited on 11/11/11 at 10:29 am
Posted on 11/11/11 at 10:52 am to Bubba Hotep
quote:
McQueary was a highly recruited high school quarterback. It is unfathomable that if Sandusky raped or molested him as a child, he would have then chosen to attend Penn State, where Sandusky was on staff. And then, later chosen to work there.
You don't know much about the predator/victim child molestation relationships then.
Posted on 11/11/11 at 10:54 am to nycajun
quote:
Nevertheless, I also agree with the poster who said that kids are champs at keeping stuff under wraps, regardless of how much attention they are given or how comfortable they feel sharing with their parents.
Of course I wasn't saying they would just come home and say, "Something terrible happened..." (though my kids were quick to say what was bothering them). I'm saying trauma would have been noticed immediately, by me (and I can't speak for you or anybody else). Maybe I would have gotten them to open up about it and maybe I wouldn't have. However, something as severe as this is - I would have analyzed recent activities (sporting event, church/social event, bad grade, falling out with a friend, etc.) and put 2-and-2 together.
Again, I'm super-imposing the elder McQueary who was certainly aware of the suspicions about Sandusky 25 to 30 years ago, and putting myself in his place with that knowledge or suspicion (and if I had it before, I wouldn't have allowed my son to be alone with him in the first place - all of this is rank speculation at this point.)
This post was edited on 11/11/11 at 11:02 am
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