re: Visual stimulation: is this an equal pull for men and women?

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she says women struggle with porn just as much as men do but women know how to better control it

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While it isn't cut and dried that all men are porn addicts and no women are, the prevailing research just doesn't support anything like parity in this area. Even women with sexual compulsions/addictions are far more into the 4 dimensional "experience" of it than visual stimulation/pornography.

And the numbers just really aren't there.

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i wholeheartedly accept that men are just wired differently

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There was a time when such an obvious to all fact wasn't controversial. There are more male "geniuses" than female "geniuses". There are more men with intellectual disabilities than women with intellectual disabilities. Argue about how accurate such interpretations are all you want, the consistent results prove men and women are wired differently from a cognitive standpoint.

Men are (GENERALLY) better with spatial relationships and processing concrete facts. Women are (GENERALLY) better with communication (verbal and nonverbal) and more abstract concepts. Obviously, individuals of either gender demonstrate great ability and stark weaknesses in all areas of cognition.