re: Spanking a kid--where do you stand?

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Each child is different. It's about finding a balance for each child. And the best research as to what works and what doesn't work for children is done by their parents.

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I agree. My oldest received many more spankings than my second. Probably because I was a new parent. We have to learn also. Partly because he was more determined to have his way and was naturally into his interests.
Once we had company and were sitting outside. My youngest was riding his bicycle repeatedly through a puddle of water. I told him to quit. He did it again. I told if he did it again that I was going to spank him. He rode to the puddle then stopped and looked at me. I gave him the meanest most threatening look that I could muster. He proceeded to ride through again. I got up and gave him a spanking. Later I asked him, why in spite or my warning, the mean threatening look, he went ahead and did what I told him no to do. He said Daddy, I thought you were smiling at me. Communication!
My oldest sucked his thumb until he was two or three. I told him one day that if he quit I would buy him the toy, "Six million dollar man". He agreed, so I bought the toy. He quit sucking his thumb, but I noticed one evening that he was anxious to go to bed. After a few minutes I quietly went into his bedroom and sure enough he was sucking his thumb. I took the toy and told him I was taking for a couple weeks and if he continued sucking his thumb I was going to put it in the trash. In a few days I gave it back and he never sucked his thumb again.
Psychologists say that was the wrong approach. Maybe? Today he is an Electrical Engineer, married for twenty years to the same woman, two healthy children.