re: I think I’ve figured out why people have a hard time respecting captain marvel

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Isn't being haughty Iron Man's main personality feature?

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Iron Man is also funny and goes through an entire story arc where he battles depression and the internal balance between his desire to live a normal life and be a superhero.

This serves to make him more human and relatable and this combined with his vibrant personality and quick wit made him likable. The comparison is apples and oranges.