re: I don't know what to do. I just want to end it

Bad luck does not equate to drastic measures, a month from now everything could be fixed. If you are as succesful as you say you are then there are countless options to receive help and counseling. Being depressed isn't the same as having depression. I'd advise avoiding the big pharm medication route and diong something like talk therapy, I know personally simply laying it all out to someone who is trained to not only listen but reply in a way that helps is huge. I've been there myself