re: When I was in school, I wanted nothing more than to share a locker room with naked chicks

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That's not exactly what you said.

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For starters, if you can't afford to educate your children without government assistance, don't have children.

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There.

No reason this should trigger everyone like this. If public school rules are not to your liking, you have the right to educate your children without using public schools. If you can't afford to take advantage of that right, maybe don't have kids?