re: A family member with dementia and telling them they can't drive

As people have said on here -- disable the car or remove it from the property. Tell him it caught fire and was totaled. My mother-in-law would drive off and get lost. Get power of attorney for financial and health care. If he has to go to a nursing home, make sure that they can care for him through end of life. Make sure that when his money runs out he can stay at that facility when he has to go on Medicaid. If not, you are going to play a juggling game.

Get used to the fact that you will be dealing with big time mood swings, not recognizing his kids, a lot of frustration resulting in anger/tantrums/combative behavior. It is like they regress back to their days as a two year old, but they are much bigger. Do not let it get to you as much as possible. Develop a thick hide. Just know that your dad would never intentionally say hateful things to you. They don't know any better.

My mother-in-law is now fingerpainting with shite. If she realized she was doing this, she would be absolutely horrified.

Now for the hard part. At some point you will realize that your dad has no QUALITY of life. If he is in a nursing home, you may want to seriously consider signing DO NOT RESUSITATE papers. If he has a stroke or heart attack, why would you want to save him so he can continue to be a vegetable? It is kinder to let them go. That is something you and your siblings/family have to agree upon. Touchy subject, but let's get real. I am sure your dad would have no desire to live past the point where he cannot hold his head up and he drools all over himself.

It doesn't get any better. It is a very sad situation. Keep the faith and good luck.