re: Who is the better drummer: Lars Ulrich (Metallica) or Danny Carey (Tool)?

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Lars Ulrich's lack of virtuosity on the drums isn't really up for discussion

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Sure it is. In fact, he was criticized for being TOO pyrotechnic on AJFA.

I don't even see why this has to be an argument over "virtuosity". I think, e.g., that Vinnie Paul is almost certainly his technical superior. That doesn't mean Lars wasn't perfect for what Metallica were (and would have bee imperfect for what Pantera were.)

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Call me when Tool puts out some shite like St. Anger, baw.

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Call me when Tool has as many albums as Metallica. I'm happy to admit the flaws of St. Anger - and the biggest one was the SOUND of the drums. But that is almost entirely irrelevant to your over-the-top putting down of Lars.