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re: The logic of cheaters
Posted on 8/26/16 at 1:04 pm to Steadyhands
Posted on 8/26/16 at 1:04 pm to Steadyhands
quote:No, that's not how it works. Like you said, the cheater should have talked about the problems instead of cheating. That's why it's inexcusable and why there is NOT shared blame.
Cheating is almost always the result of a failed relationship. So in a sense there is some shared blame
Often, the cheater is unable or unwilling to discuss the problems of the relationship, and they seek out what they feel is missing from their relationship without actually trying to make their relationship work and giving it a fair shot.
The problems in the relationship are the fault of both parties (usually), but cheating is a decision made by ONE person in the relationship, and so it's only their fault.
2
Posted on 8/26/16 at 1:19 pm to Hog on the Hill
quote:
No, that's not how it works. Like you said, the cheater should have talked about the problems instead of cheating. That's why it's inexcusable and why there is NOT shared blame.
Like I said the cheater should have talked about the problems instead of cheating. I meant there is shared blame in the relationship failure. I should have worded that better.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 2:07 pm to Hog on the Hill
quote:
Often, the cheater is unable or unwilling to discuss the problems of the relationship, and they seek out what they feel is missing from their relationship without actually trying to make their relationship work and giving it a fair shot.
^This. Better yet, they "pretend" to be working on the marriage (maybe even going as far as saying the same to others, counseling, etc) and all the while screwing someone else. But, its never their fault. Never.
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