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re: What's the point of marriage?

Posted on 6/9/16 at 8:11 am to
Posted by TheTideMustRoll
Birmingham, AL
Member since Dec 2009
8906 posts
Posted on 6/9/16 at 8:11 am to
Those who have pointed out that people get married for the wrong reasons and that's what causes their marriages to fail are exactly right. Also, as a society we have no idea what real love is, because so few people spend enough time in a relationship to get around to feeling it. If you think that real love involves sexual attraction or some kind of euphoric feeling that you get just from being around your "loved" one, you are wrong. That is what used to be called "puppy love." It has about as much to do with real love as jacking off has to do with sex: a poor substitute for the real thing. The only people in your life that you will feel real, actual love for the first time you meet them are your kids, should you choose to have any. So many people quit on a relationship when it gets hard, not understanding that it is going through the hard times together, sticking it out and coming out the other side that helps to create that feeling of love and trust between two people. I won't try to speak for everyone, but in my own experience, you can't get that same depth of feeling just from moving in with someone, because the implied reasoning behind not taking the final step and getting married is that the relationship is not intended to be lifelong, but will at some point end.

However, despite the fact that marriages do (eventually) involve love, they are at heart business relationships that have as their input the combined resources, efforts and trust of two people and as their output children raised to be useful members of society. Raising kids in the marriage environment is important because it gives them a stable role model from each gender. If you doubt the need for this, please look around at the portions of our society where single-parent households are the norm and tell me how well those kids, especially males, are adjusted when they grow up. They continue to act like boys well into adulthood because they have no idea how to be men and have to figure it out themselves, which in our society usually means through pop culture. The results are evident to anyone who cares enough to pay attention.

To sum up, marriage is a relatively selfless institution, and so its purpose is often questioned in this increasingly selfish world. It can be the most rewarding thing you've ever done, but you won't reap those rewards until after it has put you through the fire. If you don't seriously intend to start a family (which means more than just having kids, by the way), then don't consider it. It isn't for you. There's no shame in that. The shame is when people don't understand it, get married and have kids, and only then decide they aren't committed enough to stick with it. It's the kids who ultimately pay the price in that scenario. No matter how unfair the system may be to men, they still made an informed decision to get married in the first place.
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