re: What was your shortest job?

My second shortest stint was one night at a Chinese restaurant as a dishwasher/bus boy. There was an Oriental girl right behind me wearing goggles for pepper slicing. I was trying to power-hose chicken or something off a bowl and the water centrivically shot over my shoulder and doused her. She cursed the Asain hell out of me and I never went back.

My third and best one was when I first moved to Nashville and took a job at Cracker Barrel (frick those peg games if you're a bus boy, btw). One night my roomate and I got so hammered I called in and claimed legitimate ill. It was shocking how well the assclown boss took it.

It turned out that there was a waiter there with the SAME NAME and a sparkling reputation. I had a real-life Office Space moment when he realized what happened and blew up my answering machine with angry messages.