re: Am I a dick?

I can't imagine throwing trash on the floor.

"Hey this bathroom is gross, I've got the solution, throw my wet paper towels on the ground like an animal!"

Get some hand sanitizer or man up and realize that even if you don't touch the bathroom door handle, you are touching every other door handle in the office. And those same people who have dirty hands are touching all of those. So unless you are going to go through life in a bubble, get over it.