re: Stories about awkard or embarrassing moments with women

I was casually dating this girl for a little while. We weren't exclusive, but we were nearing to the point. I took her on a date to this hip French restaurant. We had some wine and enjoyed our meals. The food was really good. The food was also really, really fricking rich and buttery. The whole drive back to the apartment had my stomach churning the rich, buttery food...it was fricking rumbling and cramping. I had little beads of sweat formulating at the top of my forehead. I was begging for cool air and relief. Well, this girl lived in a 2 bedroom apartment and a shared bathroom.

We get back to the apartment and of course the fricking roommate is in the bathroom. I'm hallucinating at this point...the molten hot lava is about to spew....I can feel the vein on my forehead pulsating. The roommate comes out after putting on makeup and attempts small talk....I rushed past her. I knew that the small bathroom wouldn't provide me with the "privacy" needed. I run the faucet and rip my pants and explode. Imagine Harry from Dumb and Dumber. I was in there for a good 20 minutes. I knew they could hear...I knew they could smell...the little p.o.s. vent in the bathroom didn't stand a chance.

Oh yeah, as far as the girl, I haven't seen her since.