re: Idaho family buries transgender woman as a man

quote:

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So let's say a woman dies at 50 years old and her parents have to have to bury her. Her parents' best memories of this woman's life were of her childhood, when they were raising her. So they put her in a poodle skirt, put her hair in pigtails, and bury her with teddy bears, barbies, and cabbage patch dolls. That's cool to you?

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Nice strawman.


How about this? My dad drank himself to death as an athiest, alcoholic living a pretty miserable life with hardly any friends and only his sons and parents to talk to. It's who he was and I loved him anyway.

I cremated him and spread his ashes on Lake Darbonne (sp?), without any "hoopla", as he wished me to do.

His parents (80+ years old and very religious) had a giant Christian memorial service in a church with 30-40 people who hadn't known him in 20+ years. They told stories of his younger years and the memories they had of him. Remembered him entrely as the man he was once, and not the man he died as. Such a ceremony was explicitly against his wishes.

Should I be pissed at them for honoring their memory of him, and not what he actually was? Death traditions are about closure for the living, and I'm ok with however you want to accomplish that.

My position is not about his gender reassignment. I completely support LGBT rights and equality, and would truly not care if my kids were in that group. But putting myself into the postions of his grandparents, and considering the era they are from, I understand why they did what they did, and I won't judge them for it. I'll let y'all do that. Let the downvotes rain down.


ETA: I know it's not equivilant to gender reassignment (but neither is your example), but it's related in it's how the family wanted to remember the deceased. They definitly should have gotten to know Jennifer, but I won't disparage them for seeking closure.