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re: The annual Die Hard is not a Christmas movie thread
Posted on 11/24/14 at 10:46 am to lsufan9193969700
Posted on 11/24/14 at 10:46 am to lsufan9193969700
It IS a Christmas allegory.
Bruce Willis represents Santa in this movie - a Santa who had lost his way to booze and loose living whilest getting caught up in the job.
This costs him his wife, Ms. Santa, and the respect of his elves (the people at the party).
As Christmas rolls around that fateful 1980's night, that first scent of egg nog and Christmas delight awakens the flame that was kindling in John's soul, a fire that exposed that gaping hole.
He crossed the world for his love only to be surprised by greed from above.
As he shimmied a crawled through that scraper so high, he was bound and determined to draw oh so nigh, to save his girl held by capitalist pigs who laughed and gloated whilest smoking their cigs.
Who's that? A lawyer, a scribe, to save the day. No no no, as we watch his brains spray.
It was john all along who would kill this scrouge in fun, ho ho ho he now has a machine gun.
What's that? You gonna trap Santa's arse? that commie didn't know, that Santa walks on glass.
And just when that Capitalist greedy scum thinks his will get his gold...John comes at him oh so bold.
Oh look! Scrouge has Ms. Santa OH that man is WHACK.
Santa laughs "Yippy ki yah MO FO scope out my back!"
Ms Clause, inspired, stomps on Scrooges toe as he is met with bullets and plummets below.
Death claims another and the commie falls...
Santa got his MO JO back Merry Christmas to all.
Bruce Willis represents Santa in this movie - a Santa who had lost his way to booze and loose living whilest getting caught up in the job.
This costs him his wife, Ms. Santa, and the respect of his elves (the people at the party).
As Christmas rolls around that fateful 1980's night, that first scent of egg nog and Christmas delight awakens the flame that was kindling in John's soul, a fire that exposed that gaping hole.
He crossed the world for his love only to be surprised by greed from above.
As he shimmied a crawled through that scraper so high, he was bound and determined to draw oh so nigh, to save his girl held by capitalist pigs who laughed and gloated whilest smoking their cigs.
Who's that? A lawyer, a scribe, to save the day. No no no, as we watch his brains spray.
It was john all along who would kill this scrouge in fun, ho ho ho he now has a machine gun.
What's that? You gonna trap Santa's arse? that commie didn't know, that Santa walks on glass.
And just when that Capitalist greedy scum thinks his will get his gold...John comes at him oh so bold.
Oh look! Scrouge has Ms. Santa OH that man is WHACK.
Santa laughs "Yippy ki yah MO FO scope out my back!"
Ms Clause, inspired, stomps on Scrooges toe as he is met with bullets and plummets below.
Death claims another and the commie falls...
Santa got his MO JO back Merry Christmas to all.
1
Posted on 11/24/14 at 10:53 am to theunknownknight
What makes your typical holiday film so Christmas-y?
- A Christmas soundtrack and/or holiday decorations? Die Hard has those.
- The morals of Christmas (peace on earth and goodwill toward men)? Die Hard has those.
- The importance of family? Die Hard has it.
- A romance plot? Die Hard has it.
Die Hard is essentially an adult version of Home Alone. Most people consider Home Alone to be a Christmas movie. Just because Die Hard has blood, death and explosions doesn't make it any less of one.
- A Christmas soundtrack and/or holiday decorations? Die Hard has those.
- The morals of Christmas (peace on earth and goodwill toward men)? Die Hard has those.
- The importance of family? Die Hard has it.
- A romance plot? Die Hard has it.
Die Hard is essentially an adult version of Home Alone. Most people consider Home Alone to be a Christmas movie. Just because Die Hard has blood, death and explosions doesn't make it any less of one.
This post was edited on 11/24/14 at 10:54 am
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